COOP COOPER is an independently syndicated film critic with a split personality. His “Southern Side” prints mainstream reviews that appear in various print publications across the mid-south. His “Dark Side” from Los Angeles befouls the site with reviews of horror and grindhouse flicks. Welcome to the site where COOP’s two halves (and his contributors) review and debate the latest film/DVD releases…

Coop’s most recent MICRO REVIEWS (via Twitter):

Looks like a random video store sampling this time. Sometimes, that’s the way I like it…

TURKEY SHOOT: Bourgeois sadists hunt Aussie political prisoners. Banned in OZ in the 1980’s, but a total exploitation hoot. 3&1/2 out of 5

BOOKIES: 3 college dorks start a gambling operation out of their dorm room and run afoul of the mob. Smug and sloppily written. 2 out of 5

RESTORATION: A disgraced English doctor is forced to marry King Charles II’s mistress, resulting in tragedy and redemption. Epic. 4 out of 5

SHELTER: Shrink meets a schizo man who suffers from a demonic curse. Gimmicky yet stylish thriller from the writer of IDENTITY. 3 out of 5

THE GREAT RAID: True story of WWII rescue of POWs from a Japanese camp in Philippines. Inspiring story yet poorly executed film. 2 out of 5

I SELL THE DEAD: Amusingly well-written tale of cockney graverobbers who specialize in capturing vamps, zombies and aliens. 3&1/2 out of 5

Thy Twitter has spoken.

-Coop

Coop’s most recent MICRO REVIEWS (via Twitter):

Nothing brand new here, but I just can’t get the energy up to go see WANTED II… I mean, SALT…

THE GIRL WITH THE DRAGON TATTOO: Quirky autistic hacker chick fights crime and has a lot of sex in Sweden. High brow yet boring. 2 out of 5

PECKER: Photog’s quick fame ruins lives of loved ones. Semi-autobio of John Waters. Clever allegory for artistic expression. 3&1/2 out of 5

WATCHING THE DETECTIVES: A girl (Lucy Liu) uses wild pranks to woo a nerdy boy (Cillian Murphy). Well-written indie rom-com. 3&1/2 out of 5

SALVAGE (2006): Girl relives her death at the hands of a serial killer over and over. Above par indie horror with a great twist. 3 out of 5

SALVAGE (2009): Mother searches for daughter during invasion by soldiers hunting a murderous mutant. Good tension, lame BBC plot. 2 out of 5

2012: John Cusack tries to save family from the apocalypse. Worst disaster movie ever. Roland Emmerich should take up bowling. 1 out of 5

APACHES: Sinister 1977 British public service film about irresponsible brats dying in farming accidents. Brutal and brilliant. 4 out of 5

Thy Twitter has spoken.

Coop’s most recent MICRO REVIEWS (via Twitter):

Got some high-rated exploitation (and one documentary) this time around! All of these movies are terrific, especially Uwe Boll’s surprisingly powerful RAMPAGE (who would have expected that one?)…

RAMPAGE: Uwe Boll knocks one out of the park. Hyperviolent domestic terrorist shocker delivers. Hell freezes over. 4 out of 5

BITCH SLAP: Fun, hyper violent, tongue-in-cheek exploitation about 3 sex bombs killing each other over loot. 3&1/2 out of 5

THE CALAMARI WRESTLER: Japanese wrestler dies and reincarnates in a mansized rubber squid suit. New camp classic. 4 out of 5

TALES FROM THE SCRIPT: A little bitter, but a must-see doc for anyone even remotely interested in screenwriting. 4 out of 5

GET HIM TO THE GREEK: Russell Brand = comedic genius. Best drug freak out scene of all time. Can’t stop giggling. 4 out of 5

Coop’s most recent MICRO REVIEWS (via Twitter):

SPLICE: Frankenstein redo with icky scruples, laughably repulsive monster and jerk hipster protagonists. Uncool. 2 out of 5.

EXAM: 8 job hopefuls locked in a room with ticking clock and menacing set of rules. Cool concept, sloppy plot. 3 out of 5.

D.E.B.S.: Lesbian evil mastermind seduces crack agent of an all-girl superspy team. Spoof undermines message. 1 out of 5.

DISTRICT B13: ULTIMATUM… Cliche, low on action. Huge insult to the original which set action standards. 2 out of 5.

VALHALLA RISING: A bloody, trippy, grimy, violent, slow and pretentious allegory for the death of religion. 2 out of 5.

For many of you couples, this is probably a common argument: He wants to see the new Bruce Willis action movie while she’d rather see the latest romantic comedy starring Julie Roberts. Now this may not apply to all guys. Girls, if you have a boyfriend/husband who likes most romantic comedies and Victorian Era dramas, then hold onto him. You’ve bagged yourself a sensitive, modern guy there. Since that description doesn’t apply to the majority of men, here is some advice for women trying to convince their significant other to see the latest “chick flick” (don’t worry tough guys… this benefits you too).

Firstly, don’t ever… EVER use the word “cute” to describe a movie. As soon as guys hear a movie is “cute” or “sweet” or any other adjective that conjures images of babies and puppy dogs, they immediately…

Coop’s most recent MICRO REVIEWS (via Twitter):

THE CRAZIES (2010): Great first half, effective scares (pitchfork!) but ignored much of what worked in the original. 3 stars

[REC]2: Creative continuity/action/camerawork, but “Exorcist” twist undermines the mythology of original. 2&1/2 stars

FROM PARIS WITH LOVE: Travolta = over the top and action scenes = outrageous, a must see for action fans. 3&1/2 stars

HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON: Better than AVATAR in story and intent. Total pleasant surprise. Take kids now. 4&1/2 stars

SHE’S OUT OF MY LEAGUE: Sub-par comedy. Baruchel unlikably insecure. Cop-out ending. Title ironically true. 2 stars.

NINJA ASSASSIN: Good gore. Bad CGI shurikens. Rain = ok. Lead actress sucks. Sho Kosugi rocks. Lame plot. 2 stars.

LEGION: Amazing concept. Angels + weapons = BOOM. Weak execution. All characters unlikable. Wings clipped. 2&1/2 stars.

Like any other venerable, once-popular property, Arthur Conan Doyle’s Sherlock Holmes was bound to get a Hollywood redo sooner or later. Since I never much cared for the stuffy, British “Sherlock” films of the past, I welcomed the idea of a more stylized, updated version of the eccentric detective. Despite my usual dislike of the overrated English director, Guy Ritchie (better known as Madonna’s ex-husband), I felt his modern panache would mix well with the Victorian Era mystery genre. While all the right ingredients seemed present, the end result…

I gave last year’s “Twilight” a fair pass because it pulled off some original and compelling storytelling despite the backlash by non-fans who found the whole phenomenon silly and far too juvenile for mainstream audiences. I went so far as to read the New Moon novel and while I found it uneven, soapy and poorly structured, I understood and enjoyed the way it made a cliché subject readable. I also respected the direction it was heading and was looking forward to seeing the film adaptation and the next sequel (“Eclipse”). That good will has expired because…

High on the heels of the runaway box office hit “Paranormal Activity,” another “found footage” scare flick has entered the scene just shy of the Halloween season. Touting itself as a dramatization of supposedly real taped hypnosis sessions that reveal alien abductions, the creators of “The Fourth Kind” made a sizable gamble. “The Blair Witch Project” was ten years ago and found footage films had not regained a foothold in the genre until “Paranormal Activity” came around. Add to the fact no one expected the escalating hype and sudden wide release of “PA” and “The Fourth Kind” gets the lucky boost it needs for box office success. There’s one major difference between these two films…

The film gets off to a quick start as Clyde (Gerard Butler) watches as two thugs break into his house, render him immobile and kill his wife and little girl within the first 2 minutes of the movie. Months later, hotshot prosecutor Nick (Jamie Foxx) calculates that the offenders will get off unless he cuts a deal. Distraught, Clyde waits 10 years and then gets his revenge on the two killers in very creative ways. He allows himself to be caught and informs Nick that his revenge is not complete. Suddenly, Nick’s friends, colleagues and anyone else responsible for the miscarriage of justice start dying in a series of…

Bless the Oxford Film Freak. After monitoring screening news about Paranormal Activity: Evidence of a Haunting like a hawk, I thought I had the lowdown on when it might show near me, like say in Memphis, TN. The projections: Not likely. Apparently Memphis doesn’t have the cinematic pull as Lincoln, Nebraska or Cleveland, Ohio (bollocks, I say) and wouldn’t be getting a midnight screening. Then I got word of a last minute screening in Memphis at the Indie Memphis Film Festival at the fantastic Studio on the Square Theater. The kicker… Craig Brewer (Memphis native/director of Hustle and Flow and Black Snake Moan) would be introducing the film.

Jackpot!…

I like science fiction films that make me think, but sometimes a concept really gets my gears moving. Films with robots tend to catch my fancy. I even taught an English unit to high school students involving classic short stories about robots and how they could have a positive or negative effect on society. 95% of the time, the stories lean toward the negative. “Surrogates,” based off of a graphic novel, is no exception. While engaging and moderately exciting, it raises more questions that it answers…

Color me shocked. What looked like a loud, obnoxious, superficial action flick in the previews actually succeeded in making a meaningful (yet disturbing) social statement. Harkening back to the exploitative B-movie action films of the late 80’s and 90’s, “Gamer” begins as a sleazy, violent bloodbath with seemingly no redeeming cinematic value. Just as I started to turn my brain off, the story surprised me with some plot devices and story concepts way ahead of its time…

Okay, so I’m on an indie horror kick at the moment. Sue me. It’s that time of the year.

These are two that I’m highly anticipating. Not good considering I doubt I (or you) will get to see either anytime soon.

PARANORMAL ACTIVITY: EVIDENCE OF A HAUNTING
Hitting the festival circuit for awhile now (at least since 2007), this Blair Witch-type found-footage film capitalizes on a very simple idea… A couple move into a new place. Weird things start happening so they set up some video cameras to try and solve the mystery. Things get scary. So scary in fact that it’s rumored that audience members…

I’m making this a spoiler-heavy, in-depth review because of the fact that Pontypool could’ve been a great horror movie. In fact, the first half was near flawless.

But I’ll get to that. Boy will I ever. You see, I got a few favorite concepts out there that work great by themselves. Sometimes a smarty pants comes along and merges two of the concepts to create what I call a “super concept.” It’s kinda like when rock stars from different bands get together to form “super bands.” Sometimes it works (Traveling Wilburys), sometimes it doesn’t (Hear ‘n Aid). This concept worked… almost. In what amounts to a mix of Talk Radio, Night of the Living Dead and War of the Worlds, we meet…

(NOTE: I’m delaying the next installment of HAIR METAL MOVIE MADNESS #11 for another week. Partially due to this week’s technical difficulties but also so I can save up some of the good horror ones for the month of October. Plus, this news was too juicy and I had to jump on it ASAP…)

My love for Boondock Saints (5 out of 5 stars!) has no bounds. Which is why with a heavy heart I still feel that a sequel should’ve never been made. Why? Because writer/director Troy Duffy didn’t deserve one. For those of you unfamiliar with the story, Saints involve a pair of illegal immigrant Irish twins, the McManus brothers (Sean Patrick Flannery and Norman Reedus) who get in a scrap with some local Russian mobsters in a Boston slum. After killing the mobsters in self defense, the brothers simultaneously get a divine vision instructing them to…

Possibly the first “smutty” movie I ever saw, Reform School Girls (1986) is not a movie to be taken seriously. At all. I didn’t understand that when I first saw it. I thought all R-rated movies were serious and therefore this was serious. I figured reform schools were evil places filled with bad, naked women… something that scared yet intrigued me. Kinda made me feel like “bad girls” new secrets and things that normal people weren’t supposed to know about. Mystery and danger.

Thus started my obsession of…

Gerard Butler, once a D-list guy who once played Dracula 2000, soared to the status of ultra-badass status after playing the mythic King Leonidas in 300. Then he fumbled his new found success as an action star by starring in a couple of romantic comedies and a Guy Ritchie movie.

Now he’s poised to finally take his rightful place as a Hollywood star… at least for the rest of this year. His sci-fi action film Gamer releases next month. On October 16, a more promising film starring Butler releases…

Quentin Tarantino is a bona fide oddity in the modern film industry. The bulletproof director stays independent and non-union but he still manages to find the budget to fulfill his every whim. He takes his sweet time getting there, but what he creates often gains a massive amount critical/public scrutiny and acclaim. A long-gestating vanity project for Tarantino, “Inglourious Basterds” achieves some cinematic feats that rank it in the highest categories of cinema. For Tarantino fans, this is an admirable achievement. Unfortunately for…

Just when I think my home state was finally getting some decent movies portraying the state in a positive light (like The Blind Side which releases on Thanksgiving), the goons who thought it was a good idea to remake Straw Dogs decided it should take place in Mississippi instead of England this time.

Cue the inbred, violent, Southern redneck stereotypes…