COOP COOPER is an independently syndicated film critic with a split personality. His “Southern Side” prints mainstream reviews that appear in various print publications across the mid-south. His “Dark Side” from Los Angeles befouls the site with reviews of horror and grindhouse flicks. Welcome to the site where COOP’s two halves (and his contributors) review and debate the latest film/DVD releases…

Coop’s most recent MICRO REVIEWS (via Twitter):

New stuff and old! Run out and see “Scott Pilgrim”!…

EXPENDABLES: Supergroup of action stars battle a banana republic dictator and CIA traitor. Watchable but sloppy filmmaking. 2&1/2 out of 5

SCOTT PILGRIM VS THE WORLD: Bassist must defeat 7 evil exes of new gf in order to woo her. Brilliant videogame-styled romp. 4 out of 5

THE GOOD, THE BAD, THE WEIRD: Outrageous Korean remake gives new life to the Spaghetti Western classic. Kang-ho Song = amazing! 3 out of 5

THE EDUCATION OF CHARLIE BANKS: Sociopath befriends a college boy who ratted on him as a teen. Great characters, lame conclusion. 3 out of 5

VIRUS: Energy being lands on ship, declares humans a “virus” & proceeds to kill a salvage crew. Cheesy despite big budget. 2&1/2 out of 5

RUNAWAY: Cop who takes down malfunctioning robots discovers a plot to use robots as assassins. Selleck, Simmons, Crichton, cool. 3 out of 5

I AM THE CHEESE: A mentally unbalanced kid trying to find out what happened to his parents. Depressing drama delivers. 3&1/2 out of 5

Thy Twitter has spoken.

Coop’s most recent MICRO REVIEWS (via Twitter):

Looks like a random video store sampling this time. Sometimes, that’s the way I like it…

TURKEY SHOOT: Bourgeois sadists hunt Aussie political prisoners. Banned in OZ in the 1980’s, but a total exploitation hoot. 3&1/2 out of 5

BOOKIES: 3 college dorks start a gambling operation out of their dorm room and run afoul of the mob. Smug and sloppily written. 2 out of 5

RESTORATION: A disgraced English doctor is forced to marry King Charles II’s mistress, resulting in tragedy and redemption. Epic. 4 out of 5

SHELTER: Shrink meets a schizo man who suffers from a demonic curse. Gimmicky yet stylish thriller from the writer of IDENTITY. 3 out of 5

THE GREAT RAID: True story of WWII rescue of POWs from a Japanese camp in Philippines. Inspiring story yet poorly executed film. 2 out of 5

I SELL THE DEAD: Amusingly well-written tale of cockney graverobbers who specialize in capturing vamps, zombies and aliens. 3&1/2 out of 5

Thy Twitter has spoken.

-Coop

Every few years or so, a film comes along that changes the way you look at cinema… One that incites scholarly debates, spawns books dedicated to analyzing it and inspires lesser filmmakers to shamelessly imitate it. Critics have to watch a lot (a whole lot) of bad movies to find these diamonds in the rough. I had a sneaking suspicion “Inception” might be a “crown jewel” in the rough, but often when I get that feeling I shuffle out of the theater with nothing but lumps of coal in my pocket. Not this time…

Coop’s most recent MICRO REVIEWS (via Twitter):

All I can think about is how jazzed I am about INCEPTION tomorrow…

PREDATORS: Cheesy fun that honors and expands upon the original. Quite satisfying, but does it warrant more sequels? Maybe. 3&1/2 out of 5

BLOOD AND BONE: Michael Jai White plays badass, honorable ex-con fighting in underground circuits. Another Lionheart remake. Bah. 2 out of 3

THE WHITE RIBBON: In a pre-WWI German village, a cruel act reveals an underlying evil. Masterful allegory on the rise of fascism. 5 out of 5

THE BROOD: Shrink invents therapy to manifest rage in flesh of patients. Mediocre Cronenberg film still tops most horror efforts. 3 out of 5

ECLIPSE: Better than the first two due to bigger battles and neat vamp backstories. Romance scenes still terminally cheezy. 3&1/2 out of 5

Thy Twitter has spoken.

-Coop

Coop’s most recent MICRO REVIEWS (via Twitter):

Yep, I’ve been slackin’. Maybe it’s the weak summer box office releases getting me down. At least I’ve been watching a lot of low-budget horror… an unapologetic passion of mine. Groovy…

IN AMERICA: Fine acting, but ultimately pretentious Oscar-bait about modern Irish immigrants. Includes an AIDS subplot? Ick. 2&1/2 out of 5.

NECROMENTIA: Ripoff of HELLRAISER in theme and visuals, but told backwards. Terrific atmosphere and creep factor. Inept story. 2 out of 5

GALAXY OF TERROR: Goofy, gory Corman shocker. Flimsy storyline with some neat H.R. Giger visuals and monsters. Worst ending ever. 2 out of 5

MACABRE: Better than average, ultra-gory killer family story out of Indonesia. Creepiest lead villain in Asian movie history. 3&1/2 out of 5

JONAH HEX: Cool comic book premise gets railroaded into cinematic hell. Everything sucks, especially Jonah’s face makeup. 1&1/2 out of 5

A-TEAM: Sloppy… but great actors/characters have undeniable chemistry. Nice action. Better than THE LOSERS. Murdock rules. 3&1/2 out of 5…

I was perfectly willing to let this one go until I read the imminent Stacy Ponder’s negative review of Splice down over at the Final Girl blog. She expressed her reasons for disliking the film stem from the fact that if you take the sci-fi element of the film, you basically have a Lifetime Channel rehash of The Hand that Rocks the Cradle.

Thanks for pointing that one out, Stacy. I admit I somehow missed that one, but now that I look back, you’re 100% right and it’s obviously another subconscious reason why I hate (that which I merely disliked beforehand) Splice. I have several other reasons why the flick failed to iron my britches and I feel the intense urge to list them all below…

Coop’s most recent MICRO REVIEWS (via Twitter):

SPLICE: Frankenstein redo with icky scruples, laughably repulsive monster and jerk hipster protagonists. Uncool. 2 out of 5.

EXAM: 8 job hopefuls locked in a room with ticking clock and menacing set of rules. Cool concept, sloppy plot. 3 out of 5.

D.E.B.S.: Lesbian evil mastermind seduces crack agent of an all-girl superspy team. Spoof undermines message. 1 out of 5.

DISTRICT B13: ULTIMATUM… Cliche, low on action. Huge insult to the original which set action standards. 2 out of 5.

VALHALLA RISING: A bloody, trippy, grimy, violent, slow and pretentious allegory for the death of religion. 2 out of 5.

For many of you couples, this is probably a common argument: He wants to see the new Bruce Willis action movie while she’d rather see the latest romantic comedy starring Julie Roberts. Now this may not apply to all guys. Girls, if you have a boyfriend/husband who likes most romantic comedies and Victorian Era dramas, then hold onto him. You’ve bagged yourself a sensitive, modern guy there. Since that description doesn’t apply to the majority of men, here is some advice for women trying to convince their significant other to see the latest “chick flick” (don’t worry tough guys… this benefits you too).

Firstly, don’t ever… EVER use the word “cute” to describe a movie. As soon as guys hear a movie is “cute” or “sweet” or any other adjective that conjures images of babies and puppy dogs, they immediately…

Coop’s most recent MICRO REVIEWS (via Twitter):

THE CRAZIES (2010): Great first half, effective scares (pitchfork!) but ignored much of what worked in the original. 3 stars

[REC]2: Creative continuity/action/camerawork, but “Exorcist” twist undermines the mythology of original. 2&1/2 stars

FROM PARIS WITH LOVE: Travolta = over the top and action scenes = outrageous, a must see for action fans. 3&1/2 stars

HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON: Better than AVATAR in story and intent. Total pleasant surprise. Take kids now. 4&1/2 stars

SHE’S OUT OF MY LEAGUE: Sub-par comedy. Baruchel unlikably insecure. Cop-out ending. Title ironically true. 2 stars.

NINJA ASSASSIN: Good gore. Bad CGI shurikens. Rain = ok. Lead actress sucks. Sho Kosugi rocks. Lame plot. 2 stars.

LEGION: Amazing concept. Angels + weapons = BOOM. Weak execution. All characters unlikable. Wings clipped. 2&1/2 stars.

The first “Iron Man” movie defied expectations to become one of the most critically acclaimed and popular superhero films of all time. “Iron Man 2” retains many of the qualities (special effects, performances, humor, etc.) that made the first one great, but overall the film suffers from a minor case of “sequel-itis”.

The story picks up where the last one ended… Billionaire genius Tony Stark impulsively reveals to the world he is the armored superhero known as Iron Man. Months later the world is largely at peace due to…

Oh yeah, I’m diggin’ it. You should dig on it too unless your dead… OR IN JAIL. And if you’re in jail… BREAK OUT so you can see TRON LEGACY on December 17th. I’ll bake a cake with a jackhammer in it.

Drink in the new trailer below. I’ve watched it no less than 33 times. Did I mention that Academy Award Winning Actor Jeff Bridges stars, revising his role as hero Kevin Flynn from the original TRON? Well, he does…

Here’s a movie with an ambitious story and message that almost pulled it off.

Denzel Washington plays a cat-eating, machete-wielding post apocalyptic badass named Eli who walks the Earth (like Caine in “Kung Fu”) and carries a book that is supposed to save the remainder of the planet’s population 33 years after nuclear war. He runs afoul of Carnegie (Gary Oldman), the honcho of a wild west-style town who has been searching for the book for years with plans to use it to control the masses rather than save them. When he learns that Eli possesses it, he stops and nothing to get it…

The most highly anticipated film of the year, “Avatar” marks director James Cameron’s first feature film since 1997’s “Titanic.” The notoriously meticulous filmmaker has painstakingly prepared this film, utilizing the largest motion picture budget to date. An estimated $300 million went into the making of this science fiction epic which boasts revolutionary 3-D imagery and supposedly “photo-real” special effects. Given Cameron’s exceptional track record for delivering some of the most successful mega-budget blockbusters of all time, “Avatar” has a lot to live up to…

High on the heels of the runaway box office hit “Paranormal Activity,” another “found footage” scare flick has entered the scene just shy of the Halloween season. Touting itself as a dramatization of supposedly real taped hypnosis sessions that reveal alien abductions, the creators of “The Fourth Kind” made a sizable gamble. “The Blair Witch Project” was ten years ago and found footage films had not regained a foothold in the genre until “Paranormal Activity” came around. Add to the fact no one expected the escalating hype and sudden wide release of “PA” and “The Fourth Kind” gets the lucky boost it needs for box office success. There’s one major difference between these two films…

I’m giving this one 4 and 1/2 out of 5 stars. Now you know how I feel about it right off the bat. Why the urgency? Because like many others, I waffled in seeing it. For this reason, it’s tanking like Ishtar which isn’t fair at all because it’s a great sci-fi film that deserves a dedicated following of fans, and it may not be in the theaters much longer.

It’s one of the oldest pitches in the book: “A guy wakes up in a ______ with amnesia, so he must solve the mystery of who he is, how he got there and why someone (or something) is after him.”…

I like science fiction films that make me think, but sometimes a concept really gets my gears moving. Films with robots tend to catch my fancy. I even taught an English unit to high school students involving classic short stories about robots and how they could have a positive or negative effect on society. 95% of the time, the stories lean toward the negative. “Surrogates,” based off of a graphic novel, is no exception. While engaging and moderately exciting, it raises more questions that it answers…

Whew, back from a relaxing vacation to bring you an indie film that needs more exposure.

Set in the future where fears of terrorism have made travel across the border between America and Mexico nearly impossible, native Mexicans find a new, high-tech method of illegal immigration. Luis Fernando Pena plays Memo, a young man who reads “Hacking for Beginners” books and tinkers with his own surveillance equipment at his father’s struggling farm in Mexico. The U.S. Government has…

I met Tupelo native Mike McCarthy at Ground Zero Blues Club in Clarksdale, Mississippi a little over two weeks ago and I found myself surprised to realize I’d heard of the guy. I caught his ultra low-budget film “Superstarlet A.D.”years back which was released by shlockmeister/producer Lloyd Kaufman, famous for his “Troma” brand of low budget exploitation flicks. I wasn’t a fan of the film, but I got a clear grasp for McCarthy’s style and obsessions. McCarthy spends his time in Memphis soaking up the hip Midtown scene and planning feature film projects. He fetishizes pin-up girls, rockabilly music and indie film… precisely all the ingredients that make up his latest opus, “Cigarette Girl.”…

Color me shocked. What looked like a loud, obnoxious, superficial action flick in the previews actually succeeded in making a meaningful (yet disturbing) social statement. Harkening back to the exploitative B-movie action films of the late 80’s and 90’s, “Gamer” begins as a sleazy, violent bloodbath with seemingly no redeeming cinematic value. Just as I started to turn my brain off, the story surprised me with some plot devices and story concepts way ahead of its time…

It’s an oddity of a film. Originally titled Dark Angel(???), this film capitalized on the late 80’s/early 90’s B-movie star power of Dolph Lundgren. Imitating a Shane Black, cop-buddy movie like Lethal Weapon or The Last Boy Scout, the film adds an additional element to the mix… a 9-foot tall alien drug dealer….