COOP COOPER is an independently syndicated film critic with a split personality. His “Southern Side” prints mainstream reviews that appear in various print publications across the mid-south. His “Dark Side” from Los Angeles befouls the site with reviews of horror and grindhouse flicks. Welcome to the site where COOP’s two halves (and his contributors) review and debate the latest film/DVD releases…

Does anyone remember that bizarre pop song that Alice Cooper did for the Friday the 13th movie franchise? Yeah, I didn’t either until a friend reminded me that it existed. FT13 Part 6 was poised to resurrect (literally) the flailing franchise who already saw the demise of it’s main character, Jason, in IV and replaced him with a temporary impostor in V. Nobody liked that, so what was their solution for 6? Death to Arnold Horshack from Welcome Back, Kotter. Just kidding, but not really…

Texas Chain Saw Massacre III: Leatherface (1990) was the biggest budget production of the original Chain Saw franchise before Michael Bay got his grubby little hands on them. It starred a young Viggo Mortensen as the handsome and deadly “Tex”, reliable character actor Tom Everett as a babbling maniac and genre legend Ken Foree as a heroic survivalist nut.

Oh yeah, and Leatherface sports a sweet mullet…

I’ll wager very few X-Files fans know that Mitch Pileggi (Assistant Director Skinner) on the popular show got his genre start as a crazed serial killer. That’s right, old Uncle Mitch once played Horace Pinker, one of the meanest villains ever to grace the silver screen. He’s so mean, he even nearly beat his son to death for interfering with matricide. He’s so mean, he gets his jollies wasting entire families with a Rambo knife. He’s so mean, even the Electric Satan won’t let him die after an execution by electric chair…

Around the time The Lost Boys (1987) released, vampire movies just weren’t scary anymore. I’m going to credit Boys for contributing to that. By no means is it an effective horror movie. However, it’s a culturally iconic movie of the 80’s, full of attractive young stars, a sexy attitude and marks some of the interesting (and questionable) fashion of the decade. If I had to sum up this film in one word, that word would have to be “cucumber.” As in “cool as a…”

I’ve been in denial for years over this film. Tried to convince myself that I didn’t actually see this movie in the theater… but I did.

Undoubtedly one of the the worst movies of the 80’s, Yor: Hunter from the Future made absolutely no sense and unapologetically oozed cheese from every celluloid frame it projected. Cashing in on the Sword and Sorcery/sci-fi hybrids of the early part of the decade (shared with films like Flash Gordon, Krull and Metalstorm: The Destruction of Jared-Syn), Yor features American actor Reb (I played Captain American once) Brown running around in a loincloth, bad blond wig and a stone axe across a prehistoric landscape…

One of the most culturally iconic films of the 80’s, Pat Morita scored an Oscar nomination for his portrayal of the gentle and reluctant karate sensei, Mr. Miagi. The film is so quotable, you can spout off nearly any line from it and everyone would know exactly which film you’re referring to. “Wax on, wax off”…

Sports movies reached a pinnacle in the 80’s with many shining examples of how underdogs can triumph through sportsmanship, hard work and the desire to “win or die in the attempt” (something my old football coached turned into the acronym “W.O.D.I.T.A.”). Vision Quest (1985) is the best of these films. Matthew Modine plays Louden Swain, a smart and precocious beanpole who suddenly decides to give his high school career meaning by performing a near impossible feat…

“It’s a wraith, man! An evil spirit and it ain’t cool!” -Clint Howard The Wraith (1986)

Such a quote from Clint Howard back in the 80’s might suggest a horror movie, but The Wraith is actually one of the most underrated sci-fi action movies of the decade. Why is it sci-fi instead of horror? Because the killer is a good guy and he looks like Robocop. That’s why. Oddly enough, it’s a remake of Clint Eastwood’s 1973 faux-Spaghetti Western/ghost tale High Plains Drifter. Like Drifter, The Wraith tells the story of a guy…

For shame, I never saw “Pee Wee’s Big Adventure” in the theater. I ended up seeing it on VHS at summer camp after all the other campers endorsed it with one word… “Awesome.” At the time, “awesome” was a step above “radical,” “gnarly” and “wicked.” When that counselor with the creepy lazy eye put that tape in, I knew I was in for something special. One Large Marge and an Amazing Larry later, I knew I was destined to see this one again and again…

One of the greatest horror gems of 1988 wasn’t a Freddy or Jason movie. It was a remake. One of the best sci-fi/horror remakes of all time actually, and it rarely gets any love. That’s right, I’m talking about “The Blob.” Pshaw, you say? Who’s afraid of Jell-O? Steve McQueen certainly wasn’t in the original 1958 “Blob.” That’s cuz that kiddie movie didn’t have the amazingly inventive/disgusting kills and the rockin’ 80’s feel of its far superior remake…

Ah, the summer of ‘86.

I remember very clearly choosing to go see “Short Circuit” over “Top Gun” on opening weekend. In hindsight, that’s ridiculous but it happened. About a month later I finally saw Tom Cruise blow up Russians in his F-14 Tomcat and it blew me away. Even better was how entranced everyone was with the soundtrack. It was one of those tapes where every song was listenable (at the time) and people played it…

Many of us grew up in the 80’s watching the movies and listening to music. One song from that era can bring back so many great memories. Sometimes… songs remind us of movies (or vice-versa). HAIR METAL MOVIE MADNESS brings back those memories by connecting the songs we loved from the 80’s to the movie(s) they were attached to. Visit The Small Town Critic every Saturday to rock out with us to the songs and movies that shaped a generation…