COOP COOPER is an independently syndicated film critic with a split personality. His “Southern Side” prints mainstream reviews that appear in various print publications across the mid-south. His “Dark Side” from Los Angeles befouls the site with reviews of horror and grindhouse flicks. Welcome to the site where COOP’s two halves (and his contributors) review and debate the latest film/DVD releases…

Coop’s most recent MICRO REVIEWS (via Twitter):

All I can think about is how jazzed I am about INCEPTION tomorrow…

PREDATORS: Cheesy fun that honors and expands upon the original. Quite satisfying, but does it warrant more sequels? Maybe. 3&1/2 out of 5

BLOOD AND BONE: Michael Jai White plays badass, honorable ex-con fighting in underground circuits. Another Lionheart remake. Bah. 2 out of 3

THE WHITE RIBBON: In a pre-WWI German village, a cruel act reveals an underlying evil. Masterful allegory on the rise of fascism. 5 out of 5

THE BROOD: Shrink invents therapy to manifest rage in flesh of patients. Mediocre Cronenberg film still tops most horror efforts. 3 out of 5

ECLIPSE: Better than the first two due to bigger battles and neat vamp backstories. Romance scenes still terminally cheezy. 3&1/2 out of 5

Thy Twitter has spoken.

-Coop

Coop’s most recent MICRO REVIEWS (via Twitter):

Got some high-rated exploitation (and one documentary) this time around! All of these movies are terrific, especially Uwe Boll’s surprisingly powerful RAMPAGE (who would have expected that one?)…

RAMPAGE: Uwe Boll knocks one out of the park. Hyperviolent domestic terrorist shocker delivers. Hell freezes over. 4 out of 5

BITCH SLAP: Fun, hyper violent, tongue-in-cheek exploitation about 3 sex bombs killing each other over loot. 3&1/2 out of 5

THE CALAMARI WRESTLER: Japanese wrestler dies and reincarnates in a mansized rubber squid suit. New camp classic. 4 out of 5

TALES FROM THE SCRIPT: A little bitter, but a must-see doc for anyone even remotely interested in screenwriting. 4 out of 5

GET HIM TO THE GREEK: Russell Brand = comedic genius. Best drug freak out scene of all time. Can’t stop giggling. 4 out of 5

Coop’s most recent MICRO REVIEWS (via Twitter):

SPLICE: Frankenstein redo with icky scruples, laughably repulsive monster and jerk hipster protagonists. Uncool. 2 out of 5.

EXAM: 8 job hopefuls locked in a room with ticking clock and menacing set of rules. Cool concept, sloppy plot. 3 out of 5.

D.E.B.S.: Lesbian evil mastermind seduces crack agent of an all-girl superspy team. Spoof undermines message. 1 out of 5.

DISTRICT B13: ULTIMATUM… Cliche, low on action. Huge insult to the original which set action standards. 2 out of 5.

VALHALLA RISING: A bloody, trippy, grimy, violent, slow and pretentious allegory for the death of religion. 2 out of 5.

Most children of the 80’s remember getting home from school and turning on the TV to watch a double dose of “Transformers” and “G.I. Joe” cartoons. In retrospect, these 30 minute time-wasters don’t hold up too well in the modern day of computer generated animation and not so easily impressed pre-teens. That didn’t stop Michael Bay from creating two mega-blockbuster “Transformers” films, nor did it discourage “The Mummy” series director Stephen Sommers from attempting a live-action “G.I. Joe” adaptation. For a big, dumb action movie idea, I’d say they hired the perfect director for the job.

One of the most culturally iconic films of the 80’s, Pat Morita scored an Oscar nomination for his portrayal of the gentle and reluctant karate sensei, Mr. Miagi. The film is so quotable, you can spout off nearly any line from it and everyone would know exactly which film you’re referring to. “Wax on, wax off”…

Coop here reporting from Los Angeles. While I’m in town, I thought I’d find some interesting film industry folks to learn more about what they do. Luckily, I stumbled upon some old friends who enlightened me to a part of the business I knew very little about.

Of all the individuals in film, few are as mysterious and unique as those who do stunt work. Not only do these artists employ acting skills, they also harness fierce athletic abilities to achieve seemingly impossible (or painful-looking feats). Those who perform stunts form a very tight circle in the business; and in the case of women, one of the tightest circles in the entire industry…

Sports movies reached a pinnacle in the 80’s with many shining examples of how underdogs can triumph through sportsmanship, hard work and the desire to “win or die in the attempt” (something my old football coached turned into the acronym “W.O.D.I.T.A.”). Vision Quest (1985) is the best of these films. Matthew Modine plays Louden Swain, a smart and precocious beanpole who suddenly decides to give his high school career meaning by performing a near impossible feat…

Meh? First of all, this MTV exclusive trailer is of very poor quality. You can’t tell what’s going on half the time. What’s really disturbing is even though you can’t make out much, you can still see how crappy the CGI throwing stars and digital blood look. Then you have ninjas with machine guns and rocket launchers, mystical Shinobi magic, a ninja getting run over by a car… What is all this junk?…

Sometimes a comment hits the nail square on the head and it gets me talking. I wrote an article awhile back about how “Fighting” looks a rip-off or remake of the Jean Claude Van Damme action film “Lionheart.” Imagine my shock when I suddenly got no less than 15 profane and obscene comments from dudes who flat out hate Channing Tatum. None of them were constructive opinions, merely rage-filled ramblings of malcontents. While I didn’t appreciate their inappropriate remarks (I deleted the comments for decency’s sake), I can identify with their anger…

Did you know there was a movie about lacross? Neither did I. Jay counts down #’s 16 through 20 of the sports movies you may (or may not) know about. Now, if only they’d make a movie about competitive cockfighting…

These are the heroes that just won’t go down no matter what you thow at them. The best of the best. The Greatest. Here’s the criteria I used while making the list… a. The heroes must survive to the end of their film/franchise. b. No superheroes with superpowers. c. Pick heroes who represent cult phenom films. These are my results:

Obviously a fantastic put-on, the creators of the new Noir/Martial Arts film “The Perfect Sleep” have gotten Gary Oldman, UFC fighting legend Bas Rutten and Bono to speak out AGAINST this movie in a hilariously bizarre promotional video.
Yep, you heard me right… It’s a “film noir” film mixed with martial arts. It’s a genre hybrid [...]

Definitely one of the best Jean Claude Van Damme arena fighting movies, “Lionheart” opened theatrically in 1990 and solidified the actor’s action star status.
The story follows Lyon Gaultier (Van Damme) who goes AWOL from the French Foreign Legion when he hears his brother has been killed. He stows away to America to find his widowed [...]

If anyone is to enjoy this film, you must have these three prerequisites…
1. An interest in martial arts, both practice and philosophy
2. A love for David Mamet’s work and style
3. An appreciation for art-house movies
If you don’t qualify for even one of these, you won’t get “Redbelt.” Lucky for me, I do.
Chiwetel Ejiofor plays Mike [...]

Tony Jaa’s acting debut in the original “Ong Bak” made him an overnight sensation and boosted Thai cinema into the limelight. It also set a new standard for stunts and hyper-realistic, martial arts combat. His follow up, “The Protector (Tom Yum Goong)” showcased the two best martial arts scenes I’ve ever witnessed. If this promo [...]

I love martial arts films. Doesn’t matter if you do, you’ll still like this one. It’s got fuzzy animals talking. Jack Black plays a panda and Angelina Jolie, a tiger. Tigress, rather.
I don’t have to convince most of you to see this one. If you have kids, you’re already locked in. It’s an animated film, [...]

I can imagine the pitch for this. Some writer walks into a producers office and says, “Let’s redo ‘Karate Kid’ with some excessively attractive stars, current pop music and set it in the ultra-popular world of mixed martial arts (MMA)!”
Jake (Sean Faris), a tough-yet-honorable kid with a troubled past, moves to Orlando with his mom [...]

A knuckleheaded Tae Kwon Do instructor, Fred Simmons (Danny McBride), battles his white-trash wife’s infidelity, his own ineptness and a boozed-up Chuck Norris-style villain in search to find some dignity in his sad, miserable life.
This one showed promise, but only managed to elicit some chuckles and mild amusement. It tried to be a martial arts [...]

Romeo and Juliet has to be one of the most used formulas ever within and without of the Hollywood system. Now, producer Joel Silver has decided to take this story and modernize it… yet again. But can this hybrid of black hip-hop and Asian action mix well into a workable story? Not exactly, but it [...]