COOP COOPER is an independently syndicated film critic with a split personality. His “Southern Side” prints mainstream reviews that appear in various print publications across the mid-south. His “Dark Side” from Los Angeles befouls the site with reviews of horror and grindhouse flicks. Welcome to the site where COOP’s two halves (and his contributors) review and debate the latest film/DVD releases…

At the risk of offending some friends of mine who think these movies are the proverbial bees knees, I’m going declare my utter contempt for horror movies in which kids (or kid-sized slashers) are the primary villain. Other than providing good excuses for the promotion of birth control, these films don’t scare me in the least. I imagine there are some of you who feel exactly the same way. Why do these films frighten some while others remain largely unaffected? I will attempt to explain…

So I turn on the tube today and as I strolled through the Direct TV channels, I noticed that the “Sci-fi” channel has been changed to the “Syfy” channel. The new tagline: “Imagine Greater.”

Nuts.

Now, I knew this was coming. When I first heard about it I just kinda went “Pttthhhhfff!!!” and shook my head in annoyance, but nothing prepared me for the rage I felt when I actually saw the logo newly displayed on the screen. Big deal, you say? BIG DEAL??? You’ve got a lot of nerve, mister. Some of you may not understand the greater picture to this problem so I feel it’s my duty to inform you… The problem here is threefold:

4 movies: DANTE O1, EDEN LOG, S. DARKO, and DOWNLOADING NANCY. Every once in awhile I hit a bunch of stinkers in a row. I agonize whether to bother posting them on here sometimes and normally I don’t either for time’s sake, figuring no one will be interested in the film or sometimes I refuse to out of spite or flat out disgust. After enduring so many flat-out turkeys in a row, I figured I should first douse my eyeballs with industrial-strength bleach, then warn you good people away from them…

(Sort-of Disclaimer: “I Am A Hater” contributors say mean things… but in a constructive way. They try to ellicit free thinking, discussion or change from slamming something that infuriates, baffles or frustrates them. I’m sure you’ve often thought of doing the same. Read the rant and decide for yourself…) New word says that Sam is the new horse. Makes sense considering he’s the flavor of the month being a co-star in “Terminator Salvation.” That and he’s foreign which by Hollywood law gives him an advantage over everyone born here who doesn’t overpronounce an American accent like only Brits, Aussies,…

Sometimes a comment hits the nail square on the head and it gets me talking. I wrote an article awhile back about how “Fighting” looks a rip-off or remake of the Jean Claude Van Damme action film “Lionheart.” Imagine my shock when I suddenly got no less than 15 profane and obscene comments from dudes who flat out hate Channing Tatum. None of them were constructive opinions, merely rage-filled ramblings of malcontents. While I didn’t appreciate their inappropriate remarks (I deleted the comments for decency’s sake), I can identify with their anger…