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Why I hate “Creepy Kids” horror movies (including a review of ORPHAN). by DARK SIDE

Posted on August 12th, 2009
Why I hate “Creepy Kids” horror movies (including a review of ORPHAN). by DARK SIDE

At the risk of offending some friends of mine who think these movies are the proverbial bees knees, I’m going declare my utter contempt for horror movies in which kids (or kid-sized slashers) are the primary villain. Other than providing good excuses for the promotion of birth control, these films don’t scare me in the least. I imagine there are some of you who feel exactly the same way. Why do these films frighten some while others remain largely unaffected? I will attempt to explain…

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I AM A HATER presents: Syfy Channel? SYFY CHANNEL??? NBC/Universal… you, sirs, have crossed the line! by COOP

Posted on July 7th, 2009
I AM A HATER presents: Syfy Channel?  SYFY CHANNEL???  NBC/Universal…  you, sirs, have crossed the line!  by COOP

So I turn on the tube today and as I strolled through the Direct TV channels, I noticed that the “Sci-fi” channel has been changed to the “Syfy” channel. The new tagline: “Imagine Greater.”

Nuts.

Now, I knew this was coming. When I first heard about it I just kinda went “Pttthhhhfff!!!” and shook my head in annoyance, but nothing prepared me for the rage I felt when I actually saw the logo newly displayed on the screen. Big deal, you say? BIG DEAL??? You’ve got a lot of nerve, mister. Some of you may not understand the greater picture to this problem so I feel it’s my duty to inform you… The problem here is threefold:

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FAIL!!! DARK SIDE has seen a bunch of movies and they ALL SUCK…

Posted on May 28th, 2009
FAIL!!!  DARK SIDE has seen a bunch of movies and they ALL SUCK…

4 movies: DANTE O1, EDEN LOG, S. DARKO, and DOWNLOADING NANCY. Every once in awhile I hit a bunch of stinkers in a row. I agonize whether to bother posting them on here sometimes and normally I don’t either for time’s sake, figuring no one will be interested in the film or sometimes I refuse to out of spite or flat out disgust. After enduring so many flat-out turkeys in a row, I figured I should first douse my eyeballs with industrial-strength bleach, then warn you good people away from them…

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I AM A HATER presents: Okay… Now does THIS guy look like GREEN LANTERN? by DARK SIDE

Posted on May 14th, 2009
I AM A HATER presents:  Okay…  Now does THIS guy look like GREEN LANTERN?  by DARK SIDE

(Sort-of Disclaimer: “I Am A Hater” contributors say mean things… but in a constructive way. They try to ellicit free thinking, discussion or change from slamming something that infuriates, baffles or frustrates them. I’m sure you’ve often thought of doing the same. Read the rant and decide for yourself…) New word says that Sam is the new horse. Makes sense considering he’s the flavor of the month being a co-star in “Terminator Salvation.” That and he’s foreign which by Hollywood law gives him an advantage over everyone born here who doesn’t overpronounce an American accent like only Brits, Aussies,…

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Bob is right… FIGHTING sucks. by COOP

Posted on April 27th, 2009
Bob is right…  FIGHTING sucks.  by COOP

Sometimes a comment hits the nail square on the head and it gets me talking. I wrote an article awhile back about how “Fighting” looks a rip-off or remake of the Jean Claude Van Damme action film “Lionheart.” Imagine my shock when I suddenly got no less than 15 profane and obscene comments from dudes who flat out hate Channing Tatum. None of them were constructive opinions, merely rage-filled ramblings of malcontents. While I didn’t appreciate their inappropriate remarks (I deleted the comments for decency’s sake), I can identify with their anger…

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New trailer for IRON MAN 2 shows the famous “briefcase armor”!…
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