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THE BOOK OF ELI (2010) *** movie review capsule by COOP

Posted on January 21st, 2010
THE BOOK OF ELI (2010) *** movie review capsule by COOP

Here’s a movie with an ambitious story and message that almost pulled it off.

Denzel Washington plays a cat-eating, machete-wielding post apocalyptic badass named Eli who walks the Earth (like Caine in “Kung Fu”) and carries a book that is supposed to save the remainder of the planet’s population 33 years after nuclear war. He runs afoul of Carnegie (Gary Oldman), the honcho of a wild west-style town who has been searching for the book for years with plans to use it to control the masses rather than save them. When he learns that Eli possesses it, he stops and nothing to get it…

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AVATAR (2009) *** movie review by COOP

Posted on December 23rd, 2009
AVATAR (2009) *** movie review by COOP

The most highly anticipated film of the year, “Avatar” marks director James Cameron’s first feature film since 1997’s “Titanic.” The notoriously meticulous filmmaker has painstakingly prepared this film, utilizing the largest motion picture budget to date. An estimated $300 million went into the making of this science fiction epic which boasts revolutionary 3-D imagery and supposedly “photo-real” special effects. Given Cameron’s exceptional track record for delivering some of the most successful mega-budget blockbusters of all time, “Avatar” has a lot to live up to…

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NEW MOON (2009) **1/2 movie review by COOP

Posted on November 23rd, 2009
NEW MOON (2009) **1/2 movie review by COOP

I gave last year’s “Twilight” a fair pass because it pulled off some original and compelling storytelling despite the backlash by non-fans who found the whole phenomenon silly and far too juvenile for mainstream audiences. I went so far as to read the New Moon novel and while I found it uneven, soapy and poorly structured, I understood and enjoyed the way it made a cliché subject readable. I also respected the direction it was heading and was looking forward to seeing the film adaptation and the next sequel (“Eclipse”). That good will has expired because…

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COOP gets an email from cult B-director Albert Pyun! First footage from TALES OF AN ANCIENT EMPIRE!

Posted on October 14th, 2009
COOP gets an email from cult B-director Albert Pyun!  First footage from TALES OF AN ANCIENT EMPIRE!

If you don’t know the guy then you probably didn’t frequent the same video stores I did in the 80’s and 90’s. Pyun’s direct-to-video releases were infamous for their high-entertainment value despite being made on the extreme fast and cheap. His most outstanding quality: Pyun has an uncanny ability for creating kick-ass action scenes.

His best film of all time was ironically his first. The Sword and the Sorcerer (1982) CLICK HERE FOR THE TRAILER has gone down in history as one of the best fantasy movies of the 80’s. It tells the story of…

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DARK SIDE sez, “You must see PANDORUM before it leaves the theater!”

Posted on October 6th, 2009
DARK SIDE sez, “You must see PANDORUM before it leaves the theater!”

I’m giving this one 4 and 1/2 out of 5 stars. Now you know how I feel about it right off the bat. Why the urgency? Because like many others, I waffled in seeing it. For this reason, it’s tanking like Ishtar which isn’t fair at all because it’s a great sci-fi film that deserves a dedicated following of fans, and it may not be in the theaters much longer.

It’s one of the oldest pitches in the book: “A guy wakes up in a ______ with amnesia, so he must solve the mystery of who he is, how he got there and why someone (or something) is after him.”…

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SURROGATES (2009) *** movie review by COOP

Posted on September 30th, 2009
SURROGATES (2009) *** movie review by COOP

I like science fiction films that make me think, but sometimes a concept really gets my gears moving. Films with robots tend to catch my fancy. I even taught an English unit to high school students involving classic short stories about robots and how they could have a positive or negative effect on society. 95% of the time, the stories lean toward the negative. “Surrogates,” based off of a graphic novel, is no exception. While engaging and moderately exciting, it raises more questions that it answers…

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Oh, DETHKLOK. You’ve done it again! Review of DETHALBUM II by DARK SIDE

Posted on September 29th, 2009
Oh, DETHKLOK.  You’ve done it again!  Review of DETHALBUM II by DARK SIDE

Nope, it’s not movie news per se, BUT I’m trying to ease back into the horror scene after a long, pre-Halloween slumber. I’m kicking in the movie scene by reviewing Pandorum in the next day or two, but when a bunch of cartoon characters from “Adult Swim” can singlehandedly resurrect the flagging “death metal” scene, that’s news for the ages. Dethalbum II, by the fictional band Dethklok, hit iTunes last night at midnight and I downloaded it immediately. Why? Because Dethalbum I was so popular and completely owned the genre it satirizes…

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CIGARETTE GIRL… Memphis indie movie premiere (2009) by COOP

Posted on September 11th, 2009
CIGARETTE GIRL… Memphis indie movie premiere (2009) by COOP

I met Tupelo native Mike McCarthy at Ground Zero Blues Club in Clarksdale, Mississippi a little over two weeks ago and I found myself surprised to realize I’d heard of the guy. I caught his ultra low-budget film “Superstarlet A.D.”years back which was released by shlockmeister/producer Lloyd Kaufman, famous for his “Troma” brand of low budget exploitation flicks. I wasn’t a fan of the film, but I got a clear grasp for McCarthy’s style and obsessions. McCarthy spends his time in Memphis soaking up the hip Midtown scene and planning feature film projects. He fetishizes pin-up girls, rockabilly music and indie film… precisely all the ingredients that make up his latest opus, “Cigarette Girl.”

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About that AVATAR trailer… by COOP

Posted on August 21st, 2009
About that AVATAR trailer…  by COOP

I haven’t seen this much hype over something since Halley’s Comet back in ‘86. James Cameron’s 3-D sci-fi epic Avatar is so highly anticipated (or at least wants to be) that today Cameron has released 15 mins of free footage to be show in participating IMAX theaters all over the world. That’s right, people all over the world are going to a movie theater just to see a 15 minute trailer. Now, I’m a huge sci-fi fan but I’m no sucker…

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WHOA!!! Awesome trailer for LEGION looks like THE PROPEHCY + THE EVIL DEAD + TERMINATOR!!!! by DARK SIDE

Posted on August 13th, 2009
WHOA!!! Awesome trailer for LEGION looks like THE PROPEHCY + THE EVIL DEAD + TERMINATOR!!!! by DARK SIDE

Holy crap!!!

I was sooooo not prepared for the unbridled intensity and kick-assery of the new trailer for Legion. I don’t know if this is supposed to be some big-budgeted remake of The Prophecy or if it’s something new entirely. Whatever the case, you can see from the trailer that it is at least an homage to that film, plus several others by utilizing the Sam RaimiSpook-a-blast” style with Terminator-style action.

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G.I. JOE: THE RISE OF COBRA (2009) *** movie review by COOP

Posted on August 11th, 2009
G.I. JOE: THE RISE OF COBRA (2009) *** movie review by COOP

Most children of the 80’s remember getting home from school and turning on the TV to watch a double dose of “Transformers” and “G.I. Joe” cartoons. In retrospect, these 30 minute time-wasters don’t hold up too well in the modern day of computer generated animation and not so easily impressed pre-teens. That didn’t stop Michael Bay from creating two mega-blockbuster “Transformers” films, nor did it discourage “The Mummy” series director Stephen Sommers from attempting a live-action “G.I. Joe” adaptation. For a big, dumb action movie idea, I’d say they hired the perfect director for the job.

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HAIR METAL MOVIE MADNESS #8 gets silly with YOR: HUNTER FROM THE FUTURE! by DARK SIDE

Posted on August 8th, 2009
HAIR METAL MOVIE MADNESS #8 gets silly with YOR: HUNTER FROM THE FUTURE! by DARK SIDE

I’ve been in denial for years over this film. Tried to convince myself that I didn’t actually see this movie in the theater… but I did.

Undoubtedly one of the the worst movies of the 80’s, Yor: Hunter from the Future made absolutely no sense and unapologetically oozed cheese from every celluloid frame it projected. Cashing in on the Sword and Sorcery/sci-fi hybrids of the early part of the decade (shared with films like Flash Gordon, Krull and Metalstorm: The Destruction of Jared-Syn), Yor features American actor Reb (I played Captain American once) Brown running around in a loincloth, bad blond wig and a stone axe across a prehistoric landscape…

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TRON LEGACY teaser trailer made me weak in the knees… by COOP

Posted on July 27th, 2009
TRON LEGACY teaser trailer made me weak in the knees…  by COOP

Not since The Empire Strikes Back have I anticipated a movie so eagerly. Tron was one of the biggest cinematic staples of my childhood. I can’t imagine a world without it. Finally, we are about to get a sequel. Tron Legacy (formerly Tron 2.0 and TR2N) has been a twinkle on the horizon for many years now. Four years ago or so, Jeff Bridges did an interview wearing his old Flynn helmet which sparked speculation that something was on stove. Rumors emerged…

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Neo the ninja! The creators of THE MATRIX return with a NINJA ASSASSIN trailer! by COOP

Posted on July 23rd, 2009
Neo the ninja!  The creators of THE MATRIX return with a NINJA ASSASSIN trailer!  by COOP

Meh? First of all, this MTV exclusive trailer is of very poor quality. You can’t tell what’s going on half the time. What’s really disturbing is even though you can’t make out much, you can still see how crappy the CGI throwing stars and digital blood look. Then you have ninjas with machine guns and rocket launchers, mystical Shinobi magic, a ninja getting run over by a car… What is all this junk?…

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HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF-BLOOD PRINCE (2009) **** movie review by COOP

Posted on July 16th, 2009
HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF-BLOOD PRINCE (2009) **** movie review by COOP

The penultimate book in the series, “Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince” marks the largest turning point in the franchise. The teen wizards have suffered tragedy and triumph in their battle against the Dark Lord Voldemort and his minions. Now they must grow up quickly as their situation becomes grim at Hogwort’s School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. This film more than captures the tone and gravity of the book, even if it does leave out some crucial details…

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Deadpool/Hannibal King is Green Lantern… Ryan Reynolds is in! by COOP

Posted on July 11th, 2009
Deadpool/Hannibal King is Green Lantern…  Ryan Reynolds is in! by COOP

After a redonkulous amount of speculation and BS concerning who would wear the super-power ring of the Green Lantern Corps, a winner has emerged. Ryan Reynolds who has played two minor superheroes in Blade 3 and X-Men Origins: Wolverine has been called up to the big leagues. After beating out Bradley Cooper, Justin Timberlake, Sam Worthington, Jack Black and Larry the Cable Guy, Reynolds finally gets a D.C. Comics staple to launch a franchise…

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CTHULHU (H.P. Lovecraft) and DOLAN’S CADILLAC (Stephen King)… two movie properties that brushed with greatness! by DARK SIDE

Posted on July 8th, 2009
CTHULHU (H.P. Lovecraft) and DOLAN’S CADILLAC (Stephen King)… two movie properties that brushed with greatness!  by DARK SIDE

Some literary properties, no mater how great, are near impossible to adapt. Some of these properties are so greatly loved that some filmmakers feel the need to at least give it the old college try. These two films didn’t quite rise to the occasion, but they had the potential to reach the same status of ultra-greatness as their source materials. Both are worth a look for fans of the works that inspired them…

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I AM A HATER presents: Syfy Channel? SYFY CHANNEL??? NBC/Universal… you, sirs, have crossed the line! by COOP

Posted on July 7th, 2009
I AM A HATER presents: Syfy Channel?  SYFY CHANNEL???  NBC/Universal…  you, sirs, have crossed the line!  by COOP

So I turn on the tube today and as I strolled through the Direct TV channels, I noticed that the “Sci-fi” channel has been changed to the “Syfy” channel. The new tagline: “Imagine Greater.”

Nuts.

Now, I knew this was coming. When I first heard about it I just kinda went “Pttthhhhfff!!!” and shook my head in annoyance, but nothing prepared me for the rage I felt when I actually saw the logo newly displayed on the screen. Big deal, you say? BIG DEAL??? You’ve got a lot of nerve, mister. Some of you may not understand the greater picture to this problem so I feel it’s my duty to inform you… The problem here is threefold:

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UP (2009) ***** quick movie review by COOP

Posted on June 3rd, 2009
UP (2009) ***** quick movie review by COOP

I’m not going to spend a lot of time on this one, but know that it’s not just for kids. “Up” strikes exactly the right balance between kid-friendly and adult-friendly. It manages to entertain on all levels and it does it all in 3-D. I was amazed how it could wrench at your heart one minute, then get you laughing again in the next. I might even go so far as to say…

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Freaks and Geeks and Star Wars… ‘77 trailer shows what growing up was like with Wookies on the brain! by COOP

Posted on May 27th, 2009
Freaks and Geeks and Star Wars…  ‘77 trailer shows what growing up was like with Wookies on the brain!  by COOP

My first memories come from 1977 when I was 3. My first: An albino crawfish brought in by a classmate’s mother. My Second: Seeing “Star Wars” in the theater. My Third: Dressing up as Chewbacca that Halloween. Patrick Read Johnson feels the same way about it as I do, except he experienced 1977 while in high school. His film “‘77″ (formerly “5-25-77,” the actual release date of “Star Wars”) chronicles his mostly- autobiographical experiences growing up around the phenomenon of this movie…

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New trailer for IRON MAN 2 shows the famous “briefcase armor”!…
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  • Watched UP IN THE AIR again for the 3rd time. Makes me wanna fly somewheres. Any ideas? No, not New Orleans.
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