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MICRO REVIEWS (via Twitter!):  THE GIRL WITH THE DRAGON TATTOO, PECKER, WATCHING THE DETECTIVES, SALVAGE (2006), SALVAGE (2009), 2012, APACHES…

MICRO REVIEWS (via Twitter!): THE GIRL WITH THE DRAGON TATTOO, PECKER, WATCHING THE DETECTIVES, SALVAGE (2006), SALVAGE (2009), 2012, APACHES…

Posted on July 27th, 2010

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Coop’s most recent MICRO REVIEWS (via Twitter):

Nothing brand new here, but I just can’t get the energy up to go see WANTED II… I mean, SALT…

THE GIRL WITH THE DRAGON TATTOO: Quirky autistic hacker chick fights crime and has a lot of sex in Sweden. High brow yet boring. 2 out of 5

PECKER: Photog’s quick fame ruins lives of loved ones. Semi-autobio of John Waters. Clever allegory for artistic expression. 3&1/2 out of 5

WATCHING THE DETECTIVES: A girl (Lucy Liu) uses wild pranks to woo a nerdy boy (Cillian Murphy). Well-written indie rom-com. 3&1/2 out of 5

SALVAGE (2006): Girl relives her death at the hands of a serial killer over and over. Above par indie horror with a great twist. 3 out of 5

SALVAGE (2009): Mother searches for daughter during invasion by soldiers hunting a murderous mutant. Good tension, lame BBC plot. 2 out of 5

2012: John Cusack tries to save family from the apocalypse. Worst disaster movie ever. Roland Emmerich should take up bowling. 1 out of 5

APACHES: Sinister 1977 British public service film about irresponsible brats dying in farming accidents. Brutal and brilliant. 4 out of 5

Thy Twitter has spoken.

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Strange things are afoot at THE MAN BEHIND THE DOOR…  by DARK SIDE

Strange things are afoot at THE MAN BEHIND THE DOOR… by DARK SIDE

Posted on July 23rd, 2010

I love the “paranormal”. Hell, I AM the paranormal and I don’t wait around for Halloween just to get excited about the subject. So when Coop inherited a box of crazy from an amateur paranormal researcher, I was giddy. GIDDY, I say. Now Coop ain’t tellin’ me much about what’s in The Box [cue organ music and mad scientist laughter], but he’s already found some groovy stuff from this rogue investigator named Wes Cotten. Formerly based out of Memphis, TN, Wes has gone AWOL and left a bunch of his research for his old friend Coop to wade through and do what he wants to with it, including Wes’s creepy website THE MAN BEHIND THE DOOR

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INCEPTION (2010) ***** movie review by COOP

INCEPTION (2010) ***** movie review by COOP

Posted on July 19th, 2010

Every few years or so, a film comes along that changes the way you look at cinema… One that incites scholarly debates, spawns books dedicated to analyzing it and inspires lesser filmmakers to shamelessly imitate it. Critics have to watch a lot (a whole lot) of bad movies to find these diamonds in the rough. I had a sneaking suspicion “Inception” might be a “crown jewel” in the rough, but often when I get that feeling I shuffle out of the theater with nothing but lumps of coal in my pocket. Not this time…

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MICRO REVIEWS (via Twitter!):  PREDATORS, BLOOD AND BONE, THE WHITE RIBBON, THE BROOD, ECLIPSE…

MICRO REVIEWS (via Twitter!): PREDATORS, BLOOD AND BONE, THE WHITE RIBBON, THE BROOD, ECLIPSE…

Posted on July 15th, 2010

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Coop’s most recent MICRO REVIEWS (via Twitter):

All I can think about is how jazzed I am about INCEPTION tomorrow…

PREDATORS: Cheesy fun that honors and expands upon the original. Quite satisfying, but does it warrant more sequels? Maybe. 3&1/2 out of 5

BLOOD AND BONE: Michael Jai White plays badass, honorable ex-con fighting in underground circuits. Another Lionheart remake. Bah. 2 out of 3

THE WHITE RIBBON: In a pre-WWI German village, a cruel act reveals an underlying evil. Masterful allegory on the rise of fascism. 5 out of 5

THE BROOD: Shrink invents therapy to manifest rage in flesh of patients. Mediocre Cronenberg film still tops most horror efforts. 3 out of 5

ECLIPSE: Better than the first two due to bigger battles and neat vamp backstories. Romance scenes still terminally cheezy. 3&1/2 out of 5

Thy Twitter has spoken.

-Coop
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MICRO REVIEWS (via Twitter!): A-TEAM, JONAH HEX, MACABRE (2009), GALAXY OF TERROR, NECROMENTIA, IN AMERICA…

MICRO REVIEWS (via Twitter!): A-TEAM, JONAH HEX, MACABRE (2009), GALAXY OF TERROR, NECROMENTIA, IN AMERICA…

Posted on July 5th, 2010

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Coop’s most recent MICRO REVIEWS (via Twitter):

Yep, I’ve been slackin’. Maybe it’s the weak summer box office releases getting me down. At least I’ve been watching a lot of low-budget horror… an unapologetic passion of mine. Groovy…

IN AMERICA: Fine acting, but ultimately pretentious Oscar-bait about modern Irish immigrants. Includes an AIDS subplot? Ick. 2&1/2 out of 5.

NECROMENTIA: Ripoff of HELLRAISER in theme and visuals, but told backwards. Terrific atmosphere and creep factor. Inept story. 2 out of 5

GALAXY OF TERROR: Goofy, gory Corman shocker. Flimsy storyline with some neat H.R. Giger visuals and monsters. Worst ending ever. 2 out of 5

MACABRE: Better than average, ultra-gory killer family story out of Indonesia. Creepiest lead villain in Asian movie history. 3&1/2 out of 5

JONAH HEX: Cool comic book premise gets railroaded into cinematic hell. Everything sucks, especially Jonah’s face makeup. 1&1/2 out of 5

A-TEAM: Sloppy… but great actors/characters have undeniable chemistry. Nice action. Better than THE LOSERS. Murdock rules. 3&1/2 out of 5

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