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How to Avoid the Fright of Your Life While Watching a Scary Movie… by DARK SIDE

How to Avoid the Fright of Your Life While Watching a Scary Movie… by DARK SIDE

Posted on October 28th, 2009

(NOTE: Due to… 1. the Halloween Holiday 2. a trip out of state and 3. a lack of a working laptop, The Small Town Critic website will go on vacation until Nov. 4 when I will be bringing you a review of “Boondock Saints 2: All Saints Day” – Coop)

Here’s a Halloween tip for those of you NOT particularly jazzed about seeing a horror movie in the theater. It might not be your thing, but sometimes you end up doing it; whether it’s your date choosing the movie, a group decision or it’s something you really want to see despite your aversion to acute fright…

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LAW ABIDING CITIZEN (2009) ***1/2 movie review by COOP

LAW ABIDING CITIZEN (2009) ***1/2 movie review by COOP

Posted on October 21st, 2009

The film gets off to a quick start as Clyde (Gerard Butler) watches as two thugs break into his house, render him immobile and kill his wife and little girl within the first 2 minutes of the movie. Months later, hotshot prosecutor Nick (Jamie Foxx) calculates that the offenders will get off unless he cuts a deal. Distraught, Clyde waits 10 years and then gets his revenge on the two killers in very creative ways. He allows himself to be caught and informs Nick that his revenge is not complete. Suddenly, Nick’s friends, colleagues and anyone else responsible for the miscarriage of justice start dying in a series of…






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Belated ZOMBIELAND (2009) ***** movie review by DARK SIDE

Belated ZOMBIELAND (2009) ***** movie review by DARK SIDE

Posted on October 16th, 2009

“Zombieland” is an R-rated “Ghostbusters” for the new millennium. This crowd-pleasing film has won over jaded audiences and critics from coast to coast, taking most of its inspiration from a source I did not anticipate… blockbuster comedies from the 1980’s. It has elements that put it in the same category as “Vacation” and “Planes, Trains and Automobiles,” resurrecting a tone and atmosphere I thought was long gone from the films of today. For this reason, I’m giving it my highest recommendation, not only to horror fans, but to those who miss the heyday of actors like Chevy Chase and Bill Murray.

Set months after the destruction of the world, neurotic college student Columbus (Jessie Eisenberg) has survived the zombie apocalypse by following his own set of obsessive/compulsive rules…






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COOP gets an email from cult B-director Albert Pyun!  First footage from TALES OF AN ANCIENT EMPIRE!

COOP gets an email from cult B-director Albert Pyun! First footage from TALES OF AN ANCIENT EMPIRE!

Posted on October 14th, 2009

If you don’t know the guy then you probably didn’t frequent the same video stores I did in the 80’s and 90’s. Pyun’s direct-to-video releases were infamous for their high-entertainment value despite being made on the extreme fast and cheap. His most outstanding quality: Pyun has an uncanny ability for creating kick-ass action scenes.

His best film of all time was ironically his first. The Sword and the Sorcerer (1982) CLICK HERE FOR THE TRAILER has gone down in history as one of the best fantasy movies of the 80’s. It tells the story of…






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DARK SIDE sees PARANORMAL ACTIVITY (2009) ***1/2 in Memphis with Craig Brewer!

DARK SIDE sees PARANORMAL ACTIVITY (2009) ***1/2 in Memphis with Craig Brewer!

Posted on October 12th, 2009

Bless the Oxford Film Freak. After monitoring screening news about Paranormal Activity: Evidence of a Haunting like a hawk, I thought I had the lowdown on when it might show near me, like say in Memphis, TN. The projections: Not likely. Apparently Memphis doesn’t have the cinematic pull as Lincoln, Nebraska or Cleveland, Ohio (bollocks, I say) and wouldn’t be getting a midnight screening. Then I got word of a last minute screening in Memphis at the Indie Memphis Film Festival at the fantastic Studio on the Square Theater. The kicker… Craig Brewer (Memphis native/director of Hustle and Flow and Black Snake Moan) would be introducing the film.

Jackpot!…






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DARK SIDE says the new DVD release TRICK ‘R TREAT (2009) ***** is the greatest Halloween movie that doesn’t feature Michael Myers!

DARK SIDE says the new DVD release TRICK ‘R TREAT (2009) ***** is the greatest Halloween movie that doesn’t feature Michael Myers!

Posted on October 7th, 2009

That’s right, I said it. The cat’s out of the bag. There’s no going back now…

Michael Dougherty’s long-beleaguered holiday film has finally found a wide-release on video. Originally slated for a theatrical release in October 2007, Warner Bros. suddenly shelved it with no explanation. The rumor was that the bigwigs feared it would bomb competing against Saw IV and then Saw V the following year. Not seeing an end to the Saw tradition of releasing a high-grossing film every Halloween (Saw VI releases this month), The WB decided to dump Trick ‘R Treat to a DVD/Blu-Ray release for Oct. 6 and market the hell out of it for one month.

What a low-down, dirty shame. One of the best Halloween movies of all time, it gets delayed for two years and it doesn’t even get a theatrical release. I hope someone leaves a flaming bag of crap at the Warner Brothers studio gate for that one…






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DARK SIDE sez, “You must see PANDORUM before it leaves the theater!”

DARK SIDE sez, “You must see PANDORUM before it leaves the theater!”

Posted on October 6th, 2009

I’m giving this one 4 and 1/2 out of 5 stars. Now you know how I feel about it right off the bat. Why the urgency? Because like many others, I waffled in seeing it. For this reason, it’s tanking like Ishtar which isn’t fair at all because it’s a great sci-fi film that deserves a dedicated following of fans, and it may not be in the theaters much longer.

It’s one of the oldest pitches in the book: “A guy wakes up in a ______ with amnesia, so he must solve the mystery of who he is, how he got there and why someone (or something) is after him.”…






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HAIR METAL MOVIE MADNESS #11:  LEATHERFACE has a (Lääz) Rockit in his pocket… Care to blast off? by DARK SIDE

HAIR METAL MOVIE MADNESS #11: LEATHERFACE has a (Lääz) Rockit in his pocket… Care to blast off? by DARK SIDE

Posted on October 4th, 2009

Texas Chain Saw Massacre III: Leatherface (1990) was the biggest budget production of the original Chain Saw franchise before Michael Bay got his grubby little hands on them. It starred a young Viggo Mortensen as the handsome and deadly “Tex”, reliable character actor Tom Everett as a babbling maniac and genre legend Ken Foree as a heroic survivalist nut.

Oh yeah, and Leatherface sports a sweet mullet…






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