David Cronenberg’s CRASH (1996) NC-17 movie reviewed in 159 one-word statements. by DARK SIDE
No, not that lame, heavy-handed racial character study starring Sandra Bullock and Don Cheadle. This one won a Cannes Special Jury Prize for “Daring, Audacity and Originality.” It premiered with a limited run in America with an NC-17 rating. It stars James Spader, Holly Hunter, Deborah Unger, Rosanna Arquette and Elias Koteas.
Its experimental nature inspired me to do some experimenting of my own. Instead of a run-of-the-mill plot description how about one in haiku form?…
Weird effin’ weirdos
Crashing cars and having sex
Quite self destructive
Nifty. Now for the actual synopsis/review in 159 one-word statements (Tip: It’s more fun to read if you scroll down kinda fast)…
TITLES…
Cool.
Catherine…
Kinky…
James…
Disaffected…
Swingers…
Oops…
CRASH…
Ouch…
Pain…
OUCH…
Helen
Weird…
Traumatic…
Recovery…
Awkward…
Vaughn…
Creepy…
Reunite…
Relive…
Sex…
Cars…
Exhibition…
Dean…
Relive…
CRASH!
Ouch…
Cops…
Run…
Seagrave…
Hurt…
Videos…
Crashes…
Gabrielle…
Mangled…
Marijuana…
Photos…
Mansfield…
Wife…
Flirty…
Vaughn…
CRASH…
Intentional…
Scary…
Sex…
Airport…
Car…
Sex…
Videos…
Obsession…
Joyride…
Prostitute…
Sex…
Voyeurism…
Vaughn…
Cops…
Pedestrian…
Murder…
Ride…
Scanner…
Accident…
Pileup…
Rubbernecking…
Camera…
Injured…
Mutilated…
Modelling…
Glamor…
Dead…
Mansfield???
Decapitated…
SEAGRAVE!!!
Dog…
Horror…
Blood…
Drive…
Catherine…
Carwash…
Sex…
Voyeurism…
Brutal…
Bruises…
Recovery…
Trauma…
Intense…
Dealership…
Gabrielle…
Scar???
Brace…
RIP!!!
HA!!!
Weird…
Sex…
Ummm…
No…
NO…
NO!!!
Gross.
Horror…
Mundane…
Tattoo…
Medical???
Tattoo…
Car…
No…
NO…
NO!!!
Gross.
Icky.
Excessive…
Next???
Cars…
Simulated…
Sex…
Traffic…
Car…
Dent…
James…
Catherine…
Driving…
Vaughn…
Smash…
SMASH…
CRASH!!!
Dead.
Bus…
Dozens…
Dead…
James…
Catherine…
Thrilled…
Helen…
Gabrielle…
Vaughn’s…
Car…
Sex???
Vaughn’s…
Car…
Fixed…
James…
Driving…
Catherine…
Driving…
Smash…
SMASH…
CRASH!!!
Catherine…
Dead?
No…
Hurt?
Kinda…
Darn.
Sex.
HORROR!!!
PERVERTED!!!
REVOLUTIONARY!!!
GENIUS!!!
The End.
5 out of 5 stars
Not convinced (or maybe confused)? The trailer explains all…
I’m starring in the sequel… CRASH 2: LET’S GET SILLY
-Dark Side
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What do you think?
Absolutely loved your very succinct review of “Crash”…5 star review for a 5 star movie!!!!!
Thanks, youdon’tsay. I calls ‘em like I sees ‘em. Plus being a progressive freak when I saw it in college helped as well.
-DS
hahahahahah ill definitely see the 2nd one with you in it lmao
You’d better. You would’ve want to be left out… wouldn’t you?
-DS
Scanners? I don’t remember that part.
Nice and appropriately weird review of this film! I love this movie by the way. The cast was brilliant. Probably Elias Koteas’ most memorable role. I could write a thesis on Cronenberg.