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OH NO YOU DIDN’T #2:  Nic Cage sinks to a new low in BAD LIEUTENANT remake trailer!  by COOP

OH NO YOU DIDN’T #2: Nic Cage sinks to a new low in BAD LIEUTENANT remake trailer! by COOP

Posted on May 29th, 2009

Apparently Werner Herzog had a brain aneurism and in his limited faculties suddenly thought remaking this film starring an increasingly looney Nic Cage and setting it in New Orleans to make use of southern stereotypes was a fantastic idea. While it sounded goofy to me, nothing prepared me for the hilarious awfulness that awaited me when I saw this first promo trailer…

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FAIL!!!  DARK SIDE has seen a bunch of movies and they ALL SUCK…

FAIL!!! DARK SIDE has seen a bunch of movies and they ALL SUCK…

Posted on May 28th, 2009

4 movies: DANTE O1, EDEN LOG, S. DARKO, and DOWNLOADING NANCY. Every once in awhile I hit a bunch of stinkers in a row. I agonize whether to bother posting them on here sometimes and normally I don’t either for time’s sake, figuring no one will be interested in the film or sometimes I refuse to out of spite or flat out disgust. After enduring so many flat-out turkeys in a row, I figured I should first douse my eyeballs with industrial-strength bleach, then warn you good people away from them…

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Freaks and Geeks and Star Wars…  ’77 trailer shows what growing up was like with Wookies on the brain!  by COOP

Freaks and Geeks and Star Wars… ’77 trailer shows what growing up was like with Wookies on the brain! by COOP

Posted on May 27th, 2009

My first memories come from 1977 when I was 3. My first: An albino crawfish brought in by a classmate’s mother. My Second: Seeing “Star Wars” in the theater. My Third: Dressing up as Chewbacca that Halloween. Patrick Read Johnson feels the same way about it as I do, except he experienced 1977 while in high school. His film “’77” (formerly “5-25-77,” the actual release date of “Star Wars”) chronicles his mostly- autobiographical experiences growing up around the phenomenon of this movie…

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Top 11 Baddest Killer Robots! by COOP

Top 11 Baddest Killer Robots! by COOP

Posted on May 26th, 2009

Most of us would agree that the bare-endoskeletal Terminators and all of its other models are probably the baddest killer robots of them all, so in honor of them and “Terminator Salvation,” I’m going to rate them higher than #1. Hey, it’s my list I’ll do it if I wanna so I can leave more room for the Baddest Killer Robots of all time in film…

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TERMINATOR SALVATION is not a reboot! (2009) ***1/2 movie review by COOP

TERMINATOR SALVATION is not a reboot! (2009) ***1/2 movie review by COOP

Posted on May 22nd, 2009

Every promotional clip I saw led me to believe this would do another reboot of a beloved franchise. The trailers suggested that although this film takes place entirely in the future (unlike the others), it would be an alternate future due to an excess of time travel meddling. I’m happy to now report, “Terminator Salvation” is NOT a reboot. It occurs in the same universe as the other Terminator films and it doesn’t ruin or change anything from the previous trilogy. Whew, that’s a relief. In addition to that, it’s a…

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42Below Vodka hires 42 directors to create 42 films, each lasting 42 seconds!  by COOP

42Below Vodka hires 42 directors to create 42 films, each lasting 42 seconds! by COOP

Posted on May 21st, 2009

The project: ONEDREAMRUSH. The idea: To have a director create a stream of conciousness, dream-like, 42 second movie. The Purpose: To sell vodka. This reminds me of those mostly cool, but sometimes hit-or-miss BMW films featuring Clive Owen as “The Driver.” Each was by a different famous director and the sole purpose was to sell more Beemers. It was an ambitious marketing move that (I hope) paid off for the company. Now 42Below Vodka has hired the likes of Asia Argento, Abel Ferrera, David Lynch,…

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EVIL THINGS…  DARK SIDE reviews another “found footage” horror film.

EVIL THINGS… DARK SIDE reviews another “found footage” horror film.

Posted on May 20th, 2009

With “found footage” horror films finally falling out of favor with fans, I’m amazed at the frequency in which indie filmmakers are still firing them out (that alliteration was accidental, I swear). They range from the sublime (“The Last Horror Movie”) to the nice-try-but-no-cigar (Albert Pyun’s “Infection”) to downright miserable (“Bryan Loves You,” “Five Across the Eyes,” “The Zombie Diaries,” etc…). While “Evil Things” does not fall headfirst into the downright miserable category, it adds nothing new to the subgenre. I understand what auteur Dominic Perez was attempting, but this film feels like a no-budget project thrown together at the last minute. Despite how the film feels, I can also tell it was elaborately…

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V returns and we have advanced clips!  Death to the lizards!  by COOP

V returns and we have advanced clips! Death to the lizards! by COOP

Posted on May 19th, 2009

Yep, it’s another (sigh) remake. But I actually don’t mind if they update this one since the old 1985 TV miniseries/short-lived series doesn’t hold up well these days. In case you don’t remember, were stil in diapers or sitting around in the guff waiting to be born, “V” begins with a bunch of city-sized spacecraft that appear over every major city in the world (yep, “Independence Day” kinda ripped that part off). Turns out they look exactly like us with the exception of their robot-sounding, metallic voice. Instead of attacking, the aliens announce they are happy to find us and would like to share their technology in exchange for some raw materials such as…

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If TERMINATOR SALVATION is a reboot, what does this mean for the future of cinema? by COOP

If TERMINATOR SALVATION is a reboot, what does this mean for the future of cinema? by COOP

Posted on May 18th, 2009

With “Terminator Salvation” coming out this weekend, predictably the studio is ramping up its marketing campaign which incidentally shows more and more of the film (as is the usual M.O.). I’ve read all the rumors about the big twist at the end, which many have spoken out against, but I think is kind of brilliant from the standpoint that the original Terminator mythology still has a few shocks to reveal in its cataclysmic bible. I won’t discuss the twist here (mentioning spoilers is unofficially against my policy), but rather something else that’s bothering me from the trailer…

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Just for fun…  The Royal Canadian Kilted Yaksmen Anthem!  by COOP

Just for fun… The Royal Canadian Kilted Yaksmen Anthem! by COOP

Posted on May 16th, 2009

Yeah, so I got a silly hair in me today. Feel free to sing along to the 2nd verse of this one. I remember standing up and saluting the first time I saw this…

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THE ROAD trailer looks different than I imagined… by COOP

THE ROAD trailer looks different than I imagined… by COOP

Posted on May 15th, 2009

I read this book over a year ago and it still has an emotional resonance with me. It’s a grim and depressing story about a father and son trying to survive in a post-apocalyptic wasteland. Sounds like the usual, gritty sci-fi fare but what you may not know is this work gained notoriety as a famed Oprah “Book of the Month” Club book. Shocking, I know. Written by Cormac McCarthy (of “No Country for Old Men” fame), this book is now considered the pinnacle of literature. Students are studying it at universities, critics are singing it’s genius and people who hate sci-fi are loving it. Now the trailer for the film version is upon us. What shocks me is…

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I AM A HATER presents:  Okay…  Now does THIS guy look like GREEN LANTERN?  by DARK SIDE

I AM A HATER presents: Okay… Now does THIS guy look like GREEN LANTERN? by DARK SIDE

Posted on May 14th, 2009

(Sort-of Disclaimer: “I Am A Hater” contributors say mean things… but in a constructive way. They try to ellicit free thinking, discussion or change from slamming something that infuriates, baffles or frustrates them. I’m sure you’ve often thought of doing the same. Read the rant and decide for yourself…) New word says that Sam is the new horse. Makes sense considering he’s the flavor of the month being a co-star in “Terminator Salvation.” That and he’s foreign which by Hollywood law gives him an advantage over everyone born here who doesn’t overpronounce an American accent like only Brits, Aussies,…

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TOP 10 GREATEST MOVIE TITLES EVER by COOP

TOP 10 GREATEST MOVIE TITLES EVER by COOP

Posted on May 13th, 2009

Here are the movie titles that – when you see them – completely grab your attention. Whether they are the best piece of cinema of all time or a complete piece of crap, one thing cannot be denied… You gotta love that title. Here are the 10 best movie titles of all time in descending order all the way down to #1…

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THE SOLOIST (2009) *** movie review by SEBASTIAN

THE SOLOIST (2009) *** movie review by SEBASTIAN

Posted on May 12th, 2009

It can be frustrating to review a film like “The Soloist” because there are so many missed opportunities, so many moments of frustration in what otherwise might be seen as a masterpiece. This is director Joe Wright’s follow-up piece to “Atonement”, which I thought was, for the most part an astounding film (one must forgive the ending). So, naturally my expectations were pretty high for this one. A true-life story about loss and redemption…

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STAR TREK (2009) ***1/2 movie review by COOP

STAR TREK (2009) ***1/2 movie review by COOP

Posted on May 11th, 2009

When I learned of the existence of this franchise reboot, I was fraught with a wide range of emotions. At first I hated the idea of a new “Star Trek” retreading old territory with a new cast. Finally after some outstanding trailers and overwhelmingly positive advanced word, I started getting my hopes up. After viewing it, I have mixed feelings about the end result. While it makes for a terrific summer action flick…

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SURROGATES footage looks an alternate-reality TERMINATOR film! by COOP

SURROGATES footage looks an alternate-reality TERMINATOR film! by COOP

Posted on May 11th, 2009

What if we had our own personal terminator that took our place out there in the real world while we controlled it from the comfort and safety of our own home? Enter the world of “Surrogates” from “Terminator 3” director Jonathan Mostow. Bruce “increasingly ridiculous toupees” Willis and Rahda “never did escape from Silent Hill” Mitchell play FBI agents who through the use of their surrogates investigate the murder of a human linked to the inventor of the robot bodies. When humans start dropping dead at home…

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END OF THE LINE…  Creepy/groovy flick from the creator of $LA$HER$! Review by DARK SIDE

END OF THE LINE… Creepy/groovy flick from the creator of $LA$HER$! Review by DARK SIDE

Posted on May 8th, 2009

I really liked “$la$her$” (2001) but most people dismissed it as a poorly acted, low-budget schlockfest. Sure on the surface, that’s exactly what it is, but when you look closely you notices hints of genius. It involves a bunch of Westerners who for various reasons sign up to be on Japan’s top, controversial game show called $la$her$ in which contestants must survive a booby-trapped maze full of homicidal serial killers. Followed by a camera crew, the contestants…

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Does this guy look like GREEN LANTERN to you?  by COOP

Does this guy look like GREEN LANTERN to you? by COOP

Posted on May 7th, 2009

Bradley Cooper (no relation) is rumored to be a serious contender for the coveted “Green Lantern” role in WB’s long-in-development superhero film. While I like Brad Cooper who’s shown himself quite capable of comedy in films like “The Wedding Crashers” and “The Hangover” which is coming soon, I find the news of his potential involvement a little disheartening. NOT because Cooper is a bad actor (he’s actually terrific) and NOT because I can’t see him in the role. No, his consideration leads me to believe the WB is…

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DISTRICT 9 trailer shows it’s definitely a remake of ALIEN NATION.  Prove me wrong!  sez COOP

DISTRICT 9 trailer shows it’s definitely a remake of ALIEN NATION. Prove me wrong! sez COOP

Posted on May 6th, 2009

Seriously, before anyone starts claiming that Neill Blomkamp and Producer Peter Jackson have an original idea here, I want the world to know that they don’t. As a fan of the original film “Alien Nation” (a.k.a. “Outer Heat,” “Future Tense”), I’ll find it hard to swallow if Blomkamp doesn’t cite the original material which spawned a popular sci-fi TV show AND five made for TV movies. C’mon, Neill… we know where you got this from…

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Porky’s Revenge:  Swine Flu and the Virus in Film… by JAY

Porky’s Revenge: Swine Flu and the Virus in Film… by JAY

Posted on May 6th, 2009

In 1999, civilization teetered on the brink of annihilation as the oracles of doom lined up for a spot on the talk show circuit to pronounce the end of the world as we knew it. According to the naysayers, the Y2K bug was poised to wreck havoc on computer systems across the entire digital spectrum from finance to air traffic control to eBay. In short, it was claimed that this viral Boolean mutation would infect the operating systems of every computer on the planet and thereby destroy our global infrastructure; plunging mankind back into the Dark Ages. NBC, in a deplorable yet completely predictable vulturistic fit of negative opportunism, pounced…

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