H2: HALLOWEEN 2 trailer. I don’t know what to say. Oh wait… yeah I do. by DARK SIDE

They say he’s not even going to wear his mask for most of the movie. Sigh…

“Halloween” used to be my favorite horror film back in the day. It was Rob Zombie’s favorite too. Would I have remade it like he did?

HELL… NO.

To this day I’m baffled why he did it. Now I’m baffled even more. After the massive critical backlash he got from his remake of “Halloween,” he seemed irate and firm in his conviction that he would not even consider a sequel. A few months later, I’m guessing he looked as his bank account and reconsidered.

Rob, the only people who really liked you “Halloween” are teenyboppers and the uninitiated who never saw the original. You should know better. You’re “Devil’s Rejects” movie was brilliant. Make original films from your own original writing. That’s where your cinematic gifts lie.

There, I said it.

Now with his “H2″ coming out at the end of August, Zombie looks poised to make some additional enemies and solidify the ones he made two years ago. It’s a nice trailer. Very tense and cut together well. It’s also NOT “Halloween.” Here we have “Hobo with a knife” Michael terrorizing Laurie Strode again, but this time not on Halloween. Yep, it’s supposed to take place a little after the first movie.  Now if you remember, the original “Halloween II” happened the same night as the first (still technically Halloween as far as I’m concerned!).  This one looks like it will begin on the same night, but then linger to give Laurie at least a few weeks to heal up from her first encounter. 

Correct me if I’m wrong, but Michael can’t attack after Halloween’s done. He goes back into a coma once the spirit of Samhain leaves his body and he won’t stir until next year. Anything else would be redonkulous.

I know, I’ve got my fists, jaw and buttocks clenched too. Everything in the world is wrong, the sky is falling and Zombie seems to be letting us down long before the movie even comes out. I’m also guessing out of either homage or frustration at not getting a crack at “Friday the 13th” or “Psycho,” Zombie is going for the whole “my dead mother is making me do it” angle, another cannon-killing stroke of Zombie’s ego.

I’m so mad right now, I’m going to go do something I haven’t done in a long time…

Exercise.

Trailer below…

Hey, Zombie. Why not let me take over the whole damn franchise?  You know what I’d do with it?…  BURY IT.

-Dark Side