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John Stevenson tackles HE-MAN and SKELETOR… SHE-RA snubbed?

John Stevenson tackles HE-MAN and SKELETOR… SHE-RA snubbed?

Posted on January 31st, 2009

Ah, He-Man. I have fond memories of that guy. I had many of the toys and never missed an episode of the cartoon after school. I even remember the mother of one of my friends clipped the rams-head off of the staff of his Skeletor action-figure because she thought it was satanic. Sigh… good times. […]

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DARK SIDE announces the BEST MOVIE VILLAIN of 2008… Who will claim 2009? **UPDATED**

DARK SIDE announces the BEST MOVIE VILLAIN of 2008… Who will claim 2009? **UPDATED**

Posted on January 30th, 2009

Click PLAY on the YouTube player below to listen to “Roar! (The Cloverfield Overture by Michael Giacchino)” while you read… 2008 – THE MONSTER from “Cloverfield” “Clovey” as some like to call him (not me though), inspired a internet frenzy of fan art and speculation over what he (or she) might look like before the […]

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DARK SIDE announces the BEST MOVIE VILLAIN of 2007… Who will claim 2009?

DARK SIDE announces the BEST MOVIE VILLAIN of 2007… Who will claim 2009?

Posted on January 29th, 2009

2007 – ANTON CHIGURH from “NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN” This guy killed EVERYONE he came in contact with… well, except for two. Revealing the two survivors might spoil the film so let’s leave it with that. Okay, I’m gonna reveal ONE of those survivors here… right now… in the third paragraph. Anton exploded onto […]

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INK looks like an epic fantasy with a smidgen of horror. Just the way DARK SIDE likes it…

INK looks like an epic fantasy with a smidgen of horror. Just the way DARK SIDE likes it…

Posted on January 28th, 2009

Another independent “came out of left field” release at this past weekend’s Santa Barbara Film Festival has caught the attention of genre fans across the interwebs. “Ink” looks like something inspired by “Dark City,” “Brazil,” “Donnie Darko” and “Labyrinth.” Not sure what to make of it yet, but apparently it’s about a little girl who […]

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TAKEN (2009) ***** ADVANCED REVIEW by COOP

TAKEN (2009) ***** ADVANCED REVIEW by COOP

Posted on January 26th, 2009

Liam Neeson usually underwhelms me. At the beginning of his career, he starred in some pretentious period pieces and his acting style came across as too arty and stilted for my tastes. After “Star Wars: Episode One,” he began taking more genre roles which caused me to pay more attention to him, but the story […]

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WATCHMEN!!! Update… Dr. Manhattan origin revealed on a retro newscast!!! by COOP (PLUS… The Small Town Critic needs YOUR HELP!!!)

WATCHMEN!!! Update… Dr. Manhattan origin revealed on a retro newscast!!! by COOP (PLUS… The Small Town Critic needs YOUR HELP!!!)

Posted on January 26th, 2009

Okay, so I got this up a few days late, but gimme a break. It’s been a historic week… for THE SMALL TOWN CRITIC (thought I was gonna say something about Obama, right?). The hits to this site are escalating fast… faster each day, prompting me to increase the regularity of articles and reviews. I’ve […]

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THE DARK SIDE CRITIC reviews great horror films that YOU may NEVER get to see! PART TWO…

THE DARK SIDE CRITIC reviews great horror films that YOU may NEVER get to see! PART TWO…

Posted on January 25th, 2009

THE POUGHKEEPSIE TAPES (2007) **** Another delayed release that’s taken its sweet time getting to the theater. Here’s a clue… It never will, but you’re in luck: Its DVD release is (finally!) scheduled for January 27th. Yep, that’s this upcoming Tuesday. This grisly “mockumentary” chronicles the career of the Water Street Butcher, a still-at-large serial […]

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After all these years… finally a sequel to THE SWORD AND THE SORCERER! TALES OF AN ANCIENT EMPIRE is happening!!!

After all these years… finally a sequel to THE SWORD AND THE SORCERER! TALES OF AN ANCIENT EMPIRE is happening!!!

Posted on January 24th, 2009

Snagged this info over at Aint it Cool News. Yep, that’s Lee Freakin’ Horsely in the pic above reprising his role as Talon from the 1982 fantasy epic “The Sword and the Sorcerer.” Now, nearly three decades later, Director Albert Pyun is finally delivering on the promise etched into the end credits saying “Talon will […]

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THE SMALL TOWN CRITIC reviews a great sci-fi movie that YOU may never get to see!

THE SMALL TOWN CRITIC reviews a great sci-fi movie that YOU may never get to see!

Posted on January 23rd, 2009

OUTLANDER (2008) **** I can already guess what Dark Side is going to say about this post (“Stops Copies Me!” anyone?). I know of one film that’s coming out in limited release this weekend of January 23rd and it didn’t get a fair shake. It happens so often now to movies that don’t deserve it. […]

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The 2009 ACADEMY AWARD (OSCAR) NOMINATIONS!!!… by COOP

The 2009 ACADEMY AWARD (OSCAR) NOMINATIONS!!!… by COOP

Posted on January 22nd, 2009

I wish they were by me. Anyway, they got announced this morning so let’s take a look at the nominees. There were a few surprises. I can’t believe Christopher Nolan didn’t get a Best Director Nomination for “The Dark Knight.” At least Tom Cruise isn’t on there for “Tropic Thunder.” Stay tuned for my big “Academy Awards” article that I do every year for this event. I will post it a few days before the event. Meanwhile, observe the Academy’s picks and make your predictions!…






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MY BLOODY VALENTINE 3-D (2009) ***1/2 review by COOP

MY BLOODY VALENTINE 3-D (2009) ***1/2 review by COOP

Posted on January 21st, 2009

3-D cinema has roots that go all the way back to 1890 when film pioneers conceived the most primitive form of the process. Its heyday ranged from 1952-1955 when musicals, westerns, sci-fi and horror movies used the gimmick as a box office draw. Soon after, Hollywood largely abandoned the technique due to the tremendously difficult […]

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THE DARK SIDE CRITIC reviews great horror films that YOU may NEVER get to see! PART ONE…

THE DARK SIDE CRITIC reviews great horror films that YOU may NEVER get to see! PART ONE…

Posted on January 20th, 2009

ALL THE BOYS LOVE MANDY LANE (2006) **** No, you’re not reading the date wrong. Director Jonathan Levine made this movie a few years ago but it never saw U.S. distribution. It seems the always fickle Weinsteins had a knee-jerk response to the box office failure of “Grindhouse” and decided to cancel the release of […]

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2 Animated “Humans Invade the Aliens” movies: PLANET 51 and TERRA… **UPDATED**

2 Animated “Humans Invade the Aliens” movies: PLANET 51 and TERRA… **UPDATED**

Posted on January 19th, 2009

Ever notice when a studio puts out a high concept film and another studio releases a similarly-plotted, high concept movie both in the same year (Ex- “Volcano” and “Dante’s Peak,” “Armageddon” and “Deep Impact,” “A Bug’s Life” and “Antz,” etc…)? Looks like it’s happening again with these two animated films in which humans invade alien […]

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THE DARK SIDE CRITIC sez: “STOPS COPIES ME!”

THE DARK SIDE CRITIC sez: “STOPS COPIES ME!”

Posted on January 17th, 2009

You’re gonna have to forgive the self-indulgent post here, but this has been cracking me up all day. My love for “Metalocalypse” is no big secret but sometimes when an episode strikes me as hilarious, I can’t stop laughing for days. Take the episode “Dethcarraldo,” in which the band, Dethklok, hears about a drug called […]

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FIGHTING = a remake of LIONHEART??? by COOP **UPDATED**

FIGHTING = a remake of LIONHEART??? by COOP **UPDATED**

Posted on January 15th, 2009

Definitely one of the best Jean Claude Van Damme arena fighting movies, “Lionheart” opened theatrically in 1990 and solidified the actor’s action star status. The story follows Lyon Gaultier (Van Damme) who goes AWOL from the French Foreign Legion when he hears his brother has been killed. He stows away to America to find his […]

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COOP wants to fight BRONSON

COOP wants to fight BRONSON

Posted on January 14th, 2009

Here’s a wacky British import that flew below my radar until now. It follows the saga of a British lowlife who grows a mustache, changes his name to Charles Bronson, then goes on a violent rampage in order to make a name for himself, eventually ending up in prison. Sounds like a more depressing version […]

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DEFIANCE (2009) **1/2 ADVANCED SCREENING review by COOP

DEFIANCE (2009) **1/2 ADVANCED SCREENING review by COOP

Posted on January 14th, 2009

Jewish resistance fighters during WWII, surviving and fighting despite insurmountable odds. You couldn’t ask for a higher profile property for a producer to latch on to. Add 007 Daniel Craig to the cast and you can’t lose. Or can you? How can a reliable Hollywood powerhouse like Edward Zwick blow such a procedural slam-dunk? Probably […]

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ANNE HATHAWAY + GOLDEN GLOBES + LOSING = SCANDAL! SHOCK! SCANDAL!… worse than we thought???

ANNE HATHAWAY + GOLDEN GLOBES + LOSING = SCANDAL! SHOCK! SCANDAL!… worse than we thought???

Posted on January 12th, 2009

Holy Hannah!!! Click here to read my report on the matter BEFORE the award announcment, then Coop’s opinion on the entire Golden Globes proceedings last month. Ok, not only did Anne LOSE to Kate Winslet, a feat that could’ve been ignored (although a HUGE upset) except for one thing… Hathaway was IGNORED for the entire […]

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THE DARK SIDE CRITIC sez: With My Last GASP… I… BOYCOTT and CURSE the 2009 GOLDEN GLOBES…***UPDATE! FRESH SCANDAL!!!***

THE DARK SIDE CRITIC sez: With My Last GASP… I… BOYCOTT and CURSE the 2009 GOLDEN GLOBES…***UPDATE! FRESH SCANDAL!!!***

Posted on January 11th, 2009

You heard me… (UPDATE AT THE BOTTOM!!!) By the way, hey Coop… “To the last, I grapple with thee; From Hell’s heart, I stab at thee; For hate’s sake, I spit my last breath at thee.” – Khan from “Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan” I hear Khan stole that from from a jerk […]

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THE DARK SIDE CRITIC… MUST… GET ONE LAST REVIEW IN!!!… Music from RHYTHM NUN!!!

THE DARK SIDE CRITIC… MUST… GET ONE LAST REVIEW IN!!!… Music from RHYTHM NUN!!!

Posted on January 10th, 2009

I feel… the pull of Coop… THE SMALL TOWN CRITIC is about to take power during the eminent awards season. Whatever, I hijacked this site before and I can do it again. I’ll be back, and I suspect you’ll be ready for me when horror/exploitation reigns supreme. Until he breaks my final barrier, check out […]

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