I’ve been saying it all along… Romantic Comedies are screwing up our love lives! by COOP

Looks like some eggheads at a university in Edinburgh (Heriot Watt University to be precise) have confirmed something I’ve hypothesised for years…

Romantic Comedies, A.K.A. “Rom-Coms,” while highly entertaining, give people unrealistic expectations about love and relationships. Read the article here.

My two cents?

Look at it this way: The writers that create these stories are often socially frustrated individuals who are poor at relationships themselves (and you’re gonna take their advice on love and dating?). They create these fantasies that idealize love as imminent and beyond flaw… and everyone lives happily ever after. We’ve all seen those movies and grew up with them. Now compare those romantic notions with the reality of an ever-increasing 50% divorce rate. What happened? Is Hollywood partially to blame?

Maybe.

Even the best films are some of the worst perpetrators. Hey, I liked “Love Actually” too, but it’s a fantasy and people need to realize that. All of that mushy, silly stuff sounds nice, and we all wish it were true, but it flies in the face of our basic evolutionary instincts. It’s like that kid who jumped off the roof after watching “Superman.” Somebody forgot to tell him it wasn’t real so he disregarded his instincts and jumped. Rom-Coms are breeding those oh-so-necessary propagation instincts out of our American/Western culture and we are all victims.

Consider all the young girls getting princess outfits and “Cinderella” DVDs this Christmas. Most below the age of 10 would probably rather have a “Malibu Barbie” doll house with jacuzzi than a play office set. What kind of message does this send our female youth? Sit around, look pretty and wait for your prince to show up to solve all your problems?

Visionary author Chuck Palahniuk created a cultural revolution in challenging the romantic ideas of the modern male. Consider this quote from his most famous character, Tyler Durden in “Fight Club”: “We’ve all been raised on television to believe that one day we’d all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won’t. And we’re slowly learning that fact. And we’re very, very pissed off. ”

Despite our modern society’s confusion about relationships, love IS attainable (but don’t expect it to fall into your lap like it does to Sandra Bullock and Hugh Grant every time they star in a new flick). People go for the one that challenges them, not the desperate one who professes their love from a mountain top over and over and over and over and over and over… We have a word for those people these days. They’re called “stalkers.” Here’s where you start taking notes people:

Tips to avoiding the common misconceptions in Rom-Coms…

1. Don’t “be yourself.” Be your BEST self. Workout, observe the latest fashions, improve your education, brush up on your social skills, stay active, follow your dreams… the opposite sex loves to see all of that in a potential mate, but FORGET ABOUT THEM. You’re improving yourself for you, not them.

2. Don’t look for your ideal mate, look for FRIENDS. Don’t hesitate, talk to people. Talk to EVERYONE and be friendly. Being a snob or only talking to the attractive members of the opposite sex in the room will make you look desperate and predatory. However, everyone loves the “Life of the Party,” so be it, and the opposite sex will notice. When you’re fun and laid back without a hint of desperation, the opposite sex will be attracted to you. (Note: Conversely, it’s helpful to have a well-developed “red-flag radar.” There are many psychos, predators, scumbags and time-burglars {male and female} out there and if your instincts are good, you can brush them off quickly. If you tend to attract this type often, you need to retune your radar, get opinions from trusted friends and utilize the word “NO!” with more authority.)

3. Here’s the harshest one… Don’t rely on destiny, ACT NOW!!! Whether you believe in it or not, live like “fate” doesn’t exist. Make things happen instead of sitting back and waiting. This is the most common mistake and the most tragic. No one found the love of their life sitting at home and whining about it. It’s all about self-improvement and having fun. If you’re enlightened enough to reach that point where all self-doubt disappears, there’s no stopping you. Most of us won’t reach that point of zen, but don’t worry about it! Drop the cynicism, go out, have a blast without expectations and meet some great people along the way. It’s truly the best way and I can say that from experience.

Forgot to mention I’m an expert at more than movies, didn’t I?

Maybe next time I’ll reveal my tips for proper handgun shooting.

I’ll still watch and review Rom-Coms and I’ll continue to enjoy (a few of) them. I’ll believe in them like I believe in the Tooth Fairy… It’s a great story. Now let’s get back to reality.

Thanks to Gina G. for the heads up on the article!

-C

P.S. If you disagree, I welcome your comments, concerns and objections