ACADEMY AWARDS RESULTS (2000) by COOP

Well the Academy Awards are over and the winners were announced. Instead of posting a disclaimer saying… “So maybe I wasn’t so right about my predictions,” I decided to add a few observations about what happened on March 26th. Oh what the heck… I did make some decent predictions. Better than the Wall Street Journal anyway. Anybody want to endorse me as a reliable source? Nah, better not. I might not fare as well next year and I certainly didn’t place my bets in Vegas. To tell you the truth… I’m still glad I didn’t.

You see, me and my AFI student apartment complex (basically dorms), had a pool going, and I did fair very well. However, you didn’t see the other categories that perhaps I should have made more grandiose observations about. In retrospect, I encourage readers to follow their instincts as well as hearts when making their Oscar predictions. Here are a few observations that I might include to help you with the first TWO HOURS of the Academy Awards, rather than have you wait till the last two hours to see whether I was correct or not.

First of all, I should’ve followed my heart and put my faith in a film that I knew had more merit than I gave it credit for. That film is “The Matrix”. It won absolutely every category that it was up for including “Best Sound”, “Best Sound Effects”, “Best Visual Effects” and a coveted “Best Editing”. That’s a whopping FOUR Oscars that the film picked up, only second to “American Beauty” which won five major awards.

Many kudos went to Mississippian ,Willie Fullgear, who unwitting found 53 of 55 Oscar statues in a trash bin earlier last week. The ill-fated statues were stolen in a truck hijacking a few weeks ago and were recovered by Fullgear in an L.A. Koreatown dumpster (only several blocks from this author’s residence). Although this author denies any involvement in the theft, one of the two Oscar thieves was convicted for the felony. The Academy saw fit to present Fullgear with a $50,000 dollar reward for recovering the statues as well as a couple of free passes to the Academy Award Ceremonies where he was singled out more than once by M.C. Billy Crystal himself.